Today, I realized that I am such a Grammar Nazi that when a porn star says something grammatically-incorrect, I lose my boner. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was reading erotic literature and noticed several errors in syntax, resulting in my mood being killed. I was cockblocked by my need for grammatical correctness. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I said something grammatically wrong during it. He chose to correct it. FML
Today, my caring way too much about proper grammar got out of hand when I corrected my girlfriend during a talk about her dying grandmother. FML
Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML
Today, I finally told my girlfriend I love her. She corrected my grammar. FML
Today, something must be wrong with me. Last night, my dick went limper than overcooked spaghetti while in my wife's mouth, yet today I popped a massive boner that you could hammer nails with, while cutting the grass. FML
Today, my girlfriend sexted me for the first time in months. Halfway through reading it I was getting kind of hot. Then I found a spelling mistake and all I could think to do was correct her. She now won't talk to me. FML
Today, I was chatting to a co-worker, upon whom I have a serious crush. It was going really well, until he said "irregardless", as if it's actually a proper word. This grammatical abomination really ticks me off, and I actually had to fight back the urge to beat some damn sense into him. FML
Today, I caught myself yelling at the girl in the porn I was watching for looking at the camera every other second. FML
Today, I'm so deprived of intimacy that I got a raging boner when a waitress called me "hun". FML
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Top comments
satanic_fml 13
watch **** in a language you don't know
Catkam623 27
Mute it, then sit back and fill the dialogue with complex grammer sentences. You'll be done in no time.
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Comments (124)
satanic_fml 13
watch **** in a language you don't know
epicwaffles 7
Don't read the comments OP.
epicwaffles 7
Don't restate something someone else has already said OP.
greenmen 12
Get off **** maybe do something else
challan 19
What else is there on the internet besides FML and ****?!
MzZombicidal 36
#32, Don't forget about those silly cat videos!
slooby_fml 25
Fan fiction
Narutosuns2fan 12
I think that in itself would be a turn off.
fsomelife 26
#32 -- I was going to thumb your comment up, but you're at 69...
ThePK 5
Foreign language...exotic stuff you might find ;)
shitsville 13
Anime, here I cum! (pun intended)
Doritozilla 20
#34 Sims has an option of watching two hours of cat videos on the internet. lol
haj_fml 4
Well they're a Nazi - watch it in German..
MrBoredomioo 18
no
LordDoodle 17
Just get up and walk away.
Damian95 16
Well that would completely ruin the situation...
bigtaytay 13
I was gonna go with stop being a grammar fag
capnbzarr 43
You should learn to mind your own diction.
RobotSpaceWalrus 5
That was pretty brilliant. Thank you.
Catkam623 27
Mute it, then sit back and fill the dialogue with complex grammer sentences. You'll be done in no time.
catwho 18
You mean people actually listen to what's being said in a porno?
shibeep 12
Focus on the shitty music.
Catkam623 27
He does@49
Jjimen1654 9
#4 but then you can't hear the moans. :(
Lomus 24
*grammar #4, please.
ermagherdaturdis 26
.
MagicalOrphan 6
You're the worst kind of person and you should feel bad
mxij 13
Watch one of the schoolgirl ones. I bet those are grammatically correct, it is a real school right?
TheBrochure 22
Well, if she gets it wrong, she's sure to be "punished."
Corrupt_waffles 13
Dean, you are confusing real life with **** again.
cuppycakeslove 20
Life is going to be very difficult for you.
perdix 31
Challenging, to be sure. He can always go to the library and find literate chicks to bang.
PimpdaddyCJT 13
That be a very hard situation.
ashieee143 18
Nah it's not that hard anymore xD
littlem91 29
Do you have the same problem if a girl says grammatically incorrect phrases during sex?
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
Something tells me OP hasn't quite got there yet.
Ilovemisery 6
You don't say full sentences during sex. The worst that could happen using moans wrong.
littlem91 29
Could say "Oh god you good". Instant turn off for a grammar nazi!
therealafroninga 10
Or, she could say, "Oh god your good," instead of "Oh god *you're good."
Wizardo 34
Just listen to music over it, no biggie.