Today, while reading an erotic story, I was more excited that the author used a conjunctive adverb than the sexual content in the story. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was reading erotic literature and noticed several errors in syntax, resulting in my mood being killed. I was cockblocked by my need for grammatical correctness. FML
Today, I got more turned on by the idea of sex with my boyfriend than actually doing it. FML
Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML
Today, I wrote my boyfriend a sexy letter designed to arouse him. I described what I wanted us to do to each other in the most erotic way. Later, he came up to me and hugged me, saying it was the funniest thing he ever read and he's glad he's in love with a girl with such a great sense of humor. FML
Today, I was having the best sex with my husband, and right when I reached climax, he shouted "Abracadabra!" FML
Today, I realized how badly medical education has ruined me when I couldn't enjoy erotic literature because of one subtle anatomy mistake the author made. FML
Today, I was really excited to fuck my boyfriend when I got home from work. When I got home, I found him excited and… fucking someone from work. FML
Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML
Today, I discovered that my ex-girlfriend writes erotic fiction describing all of my moves in intimate detail. The whole internet gets to critique my entire sexual repertoire. FML
Today, I got sexually excited thinking about what kind of donuts I wanted to get in the morning. FML
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Top comments
superminty 18
Mmmm, yeah....henceforth, subsequently. Keep going, don't stop.
perdix 31
I'm pleased that the OP finds grammatical devices stimulating, moreover that these devices outshine the exotic content, although this seems dubious. Nevertheless, the OP has expressed this preference, albeit unusual, which one most of us haven't considered heretofore is undoubtedly a real one, thus we have to seek ways to please readers like the OP henceforth. Was that as good for you as it was for me?
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Comments (87)
superminty 18
Mmmm, yeah....henceforth, subsequently. Keep going, don't stop.
saIty 17
Indeed
windfuelsfire 10
Indeedlidi
a1f0sff 25
Try not keeping grammar in mind the next time you read it...
Officiency 4
Do you even lift?
seansbro56 10
Do you even thrift?
sens3sfailing 25
am I missing something here?
TheZee 12
I don't feel like going to work today, can someone here cover my shift?
Ponponpon_fml 5
Sure, but only as a gift.
BrEnNo1023 5
This thread's got unsustainable written all over it; nevertheless, someone fetch me the popcorn, and make it swift.
Cbizzlez 10
It's all good there's a lot of us gram-****** out there
DrunkButterfly 17
good.* There are* there.* Oh, the irony! Lol
FastidiousPear 6
Thank you 25. Might I add, 3, that its "grammar nazi," not grammar *****. What, do you have sex for proper sentence structure? Go down for proper use of a subjunctive?
nchov523 11
Actually "there's" is correct because "lot" is the noun being affected
Ponponpon_fml 5
Oh baby, stick your semi in my colon.
DrunkButterfly 17
58 - no, the object is "a lot of grammar ******" which is plural.
smileyxo4 5
64 is right. "A lot" is the direct object. A lot can be singular or plural, so you decide which verb to use based on the object of the preposition, which, in this case, is "gram-******," which is plural, so it needs the plural verb, are.
nigsuzzi 3
Unless you are referring to a lot as in a large space like a car lot. Using it the same way you would use "a ton of bricks" so really either is correct as it' s open to interpretation.
dakillas24 6
Holy crap I don't think I've ever seen this many grammar nazis at once. Reading your damned comments made me feel like I just got an English lesson >_< comments are supposed to be funny, not educational. Go back to your classrooms.
WolfAtTheDoor 7
Hey, whatever gets your boat rockin' I guess. Or, maybe they're just a bad erotic author...
Dracoboxer357 36
Either the story was that bad, or you are truly are a nominee for the Grammar Nazi of the Year award. Either way, Op, good luck with whatever floats your boat. ;)
Officiency 4
Hey their I was wondering weather I can be a nominee to.
Dracoboxer357 36
14- Don't ask me, just rereading my last comment, I obviously don't run that ceremony: "You are truly are a...." Horrible. :p Not to mention yours either: "Hey their", as compared to Hey there, insert comma? ;) *Teasing*
rotflqtms_ 21
16, I think that all of their mistakes were on purpose. No one could have made that many mistakes accidentally. Their (there) weather (whether) can (could) to (too). (Along with the ones that you already pointed out) You missed the point of the comment... Re-read it with its flaws, and look at what they're asking... . Go ahead, I have time... . . . ...Not that much time... ~_~
igese 11
Maybe if your trying to be a nominee for grammar nazi, you'll use the correct form of whether next time.
EvilUndead 9
If you're turned on by grammar, it'll be hard to find decent partner.
howdeedoo 22
Unless she meets, oh I don't know, maybe an English teacher?
EvilUndead 9
31, So, he'll be writing sentences on blackboard to get her excited? Well.. to each his own, I guess...
CharresBarkrey 16
6 - Just because you may not be knowledgable on grammar, doesn't mean there aren't tons of other people out there who are.
lilhellian 27
You sir, are a true grammer nazi! A shining example!
Atomic_Mushroom 14
Perhaps it's time for you to read a more interesting book. May I suggest one on the morphology of a mushroom?
Atomic_Mushroom 14
Damn, now I'm about to be buried D:
perdix 31
Sounds like a very titillating book and I'd ask to borrow your copy, but I'm guessing that lots of the pages are stuck together. Mycological preggo ****, FTW, they have M2BILFs*, too! *Mushrooms-to-be . . .
seansbro56 10
Is that good or bad?
willbur73q 7
Bad. It's on FML..
seansbro56 10
I know i was just kidding
howdeedoo 22
If you already know the answer, why ask?
AnyaS 19
46, it's called a rhetorical question.
DocBastard 40
Nothing is sexier than good grammar. Ok fine, lots of stuff is, but it's still pretty damned sexy.
Atomic_Mushroom 14
Hah. *Thumbs up*
kakarot2 11
^HA thumbs down
GenH2105 14
Bad grammar and poor spelling are actually huge turnoffs for many people (myself included); it demonstrates a lack of intelligence as well a poor desire to learn. These are not ideal qualities that people look for in a mate...
UMadBro_87 3
I'm all for correct speech and grammar, when it matters. but itz tha internetz. Not an essay. 2 many ppl lose they shit Iva poor English online. Leet speak is another form of English lol, just for this online make believe land ;)