Today, while giving my fiancé a hand-job, my ring got stuck in his pubes. We had to awkwardly get to the kitchen to get scissors. FML
Mega_bug tells us more.
Mega_bug 9
Guys, calm down. Yes, I was giving him a handjob, big deal. Ever heard of foreplay? "Sexy-time" had just started. Trust me, we were getting to the rest. And we have been engaged long enough that I was used to the ring and didn't notice that I still had it on.
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
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Top comments
ant1ion 12
That's a turn off
Sarah_moustache 9
I can just picture a man and woman waddling to the kitchen. I hope you guys don't have large windows!
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Comments (267)
OhDearBetrayal 25
Hand jobs seem to not end very well.
icrest80 4
For the guy they do....
ant1ion 12
That's a turn off
iStrukk 7
Really? Because I thought hand jobs were turn ons? Plus he got a free man-scape. It was a two birds with one stone situation. Or should I say two birds with one boner?;)
snowboarder531 5
Just stop.
iStrukk 7
Who are you? Perdix? No. DocBastard? No. Those are my two FML hero's and since you are neither, hop off.
lorenzoman77 7
Bro, you're just mean.
iStrukk 7
You honestly take me seriously? Dayumm. :P
snowboarder531 5
Why would I care who your hero's are? You made a stupid comment. Expect to get shit for it.
ManBroSkiGirl 10
Oh my..
lorenzoman77 7
I think this is the first time I've seen an FML fight. *grabs seat and popcorn* ..oh wait.. I'm Part of it too O____o
ant1ion 12
*steals the popcorn*
lorenzoman77 7
*steals it back* *points sword* *jack sparrow voice* now don't get any closer to mah bloody treasure and I promise to not throw yah o'er tha bloody brig.
iStrukk 7
32- there won't be a fight. This is a website of funny situations were everyone is entitled to an opinion, I may not agree with others but that's because it's an opinion. He is trying to instigate a fight and tell me what's going to happen when honestly 98% of the users could give a **** less about what either of us have to say. I don't fight, I make logical appeals and walk away. Sorry to disappoint.
AbbyAbyss 5
Bitch please, I'll turn into a pony and trample you, Jack Sparrow.
lorenzoman77 7
42- can I still eat my popcorn? :3 ^ mister sparrow eats ponies for breakfast.
iStrukk 7
Yes Lorenzoman, yes you can. You sir get a spot in my about me.
AbbyAbyss 5
Not ponies that mutilate other ponies and bake them into cupcakes.
lorenzoman77 7
*bows* why thank you sir, I am most pleased to hear that :D
iStrukk 7
lorenzoman77 check my about me section.
lorenzoman77 7
53- it's like Miami bath salts all over again.. Except with...... Duh duh duuuuh! *whispers* ponies D':
AbbyAbyss 5
DUN DUN DUUUUUN~ Want a cupcake? :D
ant1ion 12
Lol but popcorn is expensive at movie theaters
iStrukk 7
60 - it's because of the faggots who sneak shit in, that means they aren't meeting their profit quota and they raise the prices. I work at a theater. I have for a long time.
lorenzoman77 7
57-ALRIGHT!:D popcorn friendship ftw 60- but tooootally worth it.. :3
LoganBurrito 6
Did I hear something about children fighting?! Wait, is it over..? Goddammit!
AbbyAbyss 5
64- FINALLY! *hands you a cupcake* Baked it myself! Edit: Wow I'm an idiot. I thought that said 53. //shot
ant1ion 12
She poisoned it
ManBroSkiGirl 10
Holds rag up to #68. Does this cloth smell like Chloroform to you? Quit poisoning cupcakes.
AbbyAbyss 5
70- What? Noooooo! *hides sleeping poison behind back* What would make you think that?
ant1ion 12
You are bad at hiding it, while I had actually poisoned the popcorn before he stole it back... I MEAN I ate some
AbbyAbyss 5
75- I don't kill them with poison though, I just put a sleeping drug into it so I can make their skin into party streamers and use their insides to make cupcakes-- I MEAN I POKE THEM... With a scalpel...
ant1ion 12
Haha ok I'm just going to walk away *eats the cupcake he's holding* ... ****
AbbyAbyss 5
-Evil face-
lorenzoman77 7
This conversation just took a very interesting turn... O__o lmao
ant1ion 12
You started it
AbbyAbyss 5
Why yes Lorenzo, I believe we have a... *sunglasses* SHITTY SITUATION. YEEEAAAAHHHH! That didn't make sense. My brain no function proper at nighttime.
lorenzoman77 7
Indeed I did. I feel proud :3
ant1ion 12
You should lol, btw did he get banned O.o look at his pic :P And why does it say my profile Is private still, I told it to not be XD
AbbyAbyss 5
No, he didn't get banned if he was talking to us a few minutes ago.
lorenzoman77 7
Yea he did, he got banned from saying f@ggot. I feel bad :( its in his about me.
AbbyAbyss 5
Holy shit! He actually did! You know what Lorenzo? You're cool, I won't turn you into a cupcake.
lorenzoman77 7
Haha why thank you! Now I feel extra proud today :3 #accomplished ^ *looks around* wait... You mean to tell me this is not twitter?! It's like...inception!
AbbyAbyss 5
Lol! XD
hatesfate 6
42 - your first post wasnt an opinion it was a statement... Also your response back was the hostile instigating post... Your first post was a response in which you tried to be clever (statement) but failed miserably (opinion)
ant1ion 12
Can I just say hi to this fml moderators out there reading our weird thread XD
AbbyAbyss 5
Yeah, it is. I'd hate for that to happen if I was a guy and if I was the guy. It would hurt like hell!
ant1ion 12
Wait what? Where are the comments I'm going crazy
AbbyAbyss 5
100- I think of it as a second chance to say something intelligent and related to the FML.
lorenzoman77 7
F the fml second chance! Lol jk I'm so confused too!! D: where are our comments? I was actually writing some pretty good ones :(
ant1ion 12
Ok whew I'm not the only one, maybe they got mad? They keep getting deleted XD
AbbyAbyss 5
Ok seriously guys? I wrote something related to this comment and you still delete it? Really?
ant1ion 12
Can a moderator comment and tell me what's going on
lorenzoman77 7
Please
AbbyAbyss 5
Really guys?
ant1ion 12
Too many comments?
AbbyAbyss 5
Moderators, please. Stop deleting our comments. I actually said something related to the FML and you still deleted it.
JocelynKaulitz 28
I'm guessing you're a lefty…
MagicGiraffe 12
That's why next time you just skip the handjobs and go right to the belly button bonanza.
Drigr 9
I feel like it would've been smarter to just take the ring off.
romesh17fml 8
Would've been more awkward if the scissors were shitty and latched to his pubes..
ColdplaySucks 18
Using the same scissors to cut pubes and for cooking purposes.
OMFGLOLWTF 0
Must have been a very hairy situation.
ManBroSkiGirl 10
pics or it didn't happen :0 jk
ant1ion 12
That wouldn't be an interesting sight lol
ManBroSkiGirl 10
Definetly!
ant1ion 12
Lol but I guess some people might get something out of it XD
ManBroSkiGirl 10
I tend to stay away from those 'people'.
ant1ion 12
Lol yeah that is a good idea
dude1122332 9
No, no, you're right. Pics or didn't happen.
AlexV17 0
That's just sick!!!!! Pics really I swear people on here are dumb!!!
pokefan813 16
144 - Look up "joke" in the dictionary please.
ManBroSkiGirl 10
I'm joking and serious at the same time ; Pics or it didn't happen, yes, but would I like to see them? No.
Sarah_moustache 9
I can just picture a man and woman waddling to the kitchen. I hope you guys don't have large windows!
lorenzoman77 7
I can just imagine how the honeymoon is going to go... O_____O
COOL__Coal 12
That reminds me across my street I saw my new neighbors oddly doing this same thing. Tom is that you? ; ]
igive 29
why of all the scissors, the kitchen scissors! D:
siickman 7
44's comment is so off topic its baffling... Its like we are talking about video games and someone just says something about hotdogs. Comment is invalid.
racerapj 10
129 - Sooo... About the Miami Heat... xD
yahoowizard 16
129 Maybe it's just me, but his comment doesn't seem that random.
Spiral_Thoughts 19
44 is suggesting that since they are so incapable of doing simple couple things together, that the honey moon will likely be exceedingly more disastrous (as it is a bigger event than a hand job). The OP was very specific about their marital status, also (they are engaged), so with all that in mind . . . it is relevant.
iHeartRKO 5
Your face is invalid.... Oh wait that's your phone covering up a portion of it... Fiancé giving a handjob means wedding in the midst so yea the persons comment is valid
iHeartRKO 5
Above comment for #129
BandWagonGuy 8
142 - the heat got lucky with the Celtics.
Cskier 3
Agreed haha
siickman 7
Wow im a dumb ass ... I didnt even notice they were engaged, i deserve all the thumbs down i get :/ oh well lol i guess the -11 thumbs on 44's comment made it more like an irrelevant post in my view
wlddog 14
Well it sounds like they will eventually have a honey moon. It's not that much of a stretch. He already sprung for a ring.
esines 9
Siickman, talking about hotdogs and video games is offtopic...
siickman 7
I know, I was making an example of off topic things while being off topic,Its topiception. Im a dumb ass.
lizzlegirl 9
Manscape....
_dont_fml_ 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
was anyone else around?
AsianCookie247 14
No, 11, nobody was watching her give her fiancé a handjob because that would be ******* weird. Even if someone was watching, then they wouldn't have had to try and get to the kitchen in the awkward position they were in. I'm still in shock that you'd even ask such a stupid question.
Trilly123 10
I believe what 11 meant was; Was anyone in the kitchen? Because it would not have been weird for someone to be in the kitchen.
iHeartRKO 5
Your obviously Asian so you wouldn't understand
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Casper was there.
iHeartRKO 5
My comment was moderated because I said a nationality as a form of not knowing what they are talking about.. But people call other people on here retarded or stupid which is bullying and leads to suicide or murderous intentions .. Therefore concluding go moderate people with intentions of bullying rather than my innocent comment .. Show respect FML
blcksocks 19
Looks like we all learned a lesson here
PeteyPablo12308 20
Yup... Blow-jobs are much safer.
SkoomaKi 28
Only if the girl doesn't have braces *shudders*
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Or if she's a cannibal.
blcksocks 19
"handjob is like a really slow movie that gets really good at the end"
GSXRryders 2
He still got a hand job,seems like a win to me lol
Rddvl 11
Not if his pubes get stuck while receiving a handjob.
Chucks719 4
shoulda pulled it out, only could have been a few...right?
False_Stupidity 42
I cringe at even the thought of this.... How about just NO!
LilBobby 0
You could have saved the awkwardness and gone to the bathroom to get the razor.