Today, I was reading erotic literature and noticed several errors in syntax, resulting in my mood being killed. I was cockblocked by my need for grammatical correctness. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized that I am such a Grammar Nazi that when a porn star says something grammatically-incorrect, I lose my boner. FML
Today, my girlfriend sexted me for the first time in months. Halfway through reading it I was getting kind of hot. Then I found a spelling mistake and all I could think to do was correct her. She now won't talk to me. FML
Today, I realized how badly medical education has ruined me when I couldn't enjoy erotic literature because of one subtle anatomy mistake the author made. FML
Today, while reading an erotic story, I was more excited that the author used a conjunctive adverb than the sexual content in the story. FML
Today, my caring way too much about proper grammar got out of hand when I corrected my girlfriend during a talk about her dying grandmother. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I said something grammatically wrong during it. He chose to correct it. FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML
Today, I had to use a dictionary before I realized I was being flirted with. FML
Today, I was on my Wheel of Time fanfiction roleplay chatting seductively with my virtual lover while taking a break from doing some work, only to realize that I had accidentally sent the revenue report to my fellow fanfiction lover and used magic to undress my boss. FML
Today, my sex-crazed ex wrote me a letter so bad, it haunts me that I let a guy with such terrible grammar skills touch my boobs. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
A big turn-off is the unexpected period.
thatgirlinoregon 21
Don't forget the improper use of colons!
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Comments (126)
insomniac8400 13
I think you may mean errors in grammar, although if you are a grammar nazi you may actually know what you are talking about.
bchelle11 0
Shouldn't be a **** reading pervert.
N8George 9
You know you have no life when poor grammar ruins your boner..
shawge 1
Thank god I'm not the only one! Intelligence is a huge turn-on, and poor grammar (especially in something published) tends to indicate the opposite..
Ray_of_midnight 23
Yeah, happens to both me and my g/f too, when we each try to read erotic literature. :-( some of that stuff is sheer crap.
Ray_of_midnight 23
"Not known for being fantastically written works of literature"? Ever heard of Anaïs Nin? D.H. Lawrence? "Fanny Hill"? "Autobiography of a Flea"? The Marquis de Sade? Sappho? Martial? (my g/f learned Latin so she could read Martial in the original!) I'm sure other people could come up with more.
bizarre_ftw 22
Then write your own or change your search. I know there are good writers that write erotica out there, I have one for a friend (true I've only read his non X-rated stuff, but it's not like it's a shifting skill) They exist, and it's not like it's too much to ask
pichu172b 7
Bet the book was 50 Shades of Grey.
bizarre_ftw 22
Bet that joke is going to get old fast -__-
TofuSpaceships 3
79: but it's not really a joke... At least not the way that 78 put it.
hondaguy2009 1
your obviously gay and a nerd.
totheforest84 4
You need to relax.
TITOSJ408 13
I modded this ((: