Today, I was re-watching my wedding video. As I was walking down the aisle, you could hear my grandfather mutter "Here comes the bride, all fat and wide." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a wedding. After videotaping the ceremony for a few minutes, my memory was full. I went to delete another video. I accidentally played the loudest video I had. No one was looking at the bride or groom anymore. FML
Today, I got married. My father saw this as a good time to give some solemn, heartfelt advice to my new husband: "That ring gets real heavy fast." I was standing right there. So was my mother. FML
Today, I belched. In the middle of my wedding vows. FML
Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one rip. My husband yelled, "She likes to eat beans." FML
Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML
Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML
Today, I went to a wedding with my family. While the maid of honor was giving her non-heartfelt, three sentence speech, my mom and I started talking about how lame her speech was. When I turned around to look at my mom, I saw the camera recording the speech behind her. FML
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my grandma, who's tried to ruin every relationship to date, stood up and shouted that "it ain't right", "you're too good for her", and claimed my fiancée has been cheating on me, before she was finally ejected from the building. FML
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Top comments
rubberduckie94 13
Here comes the groom skinny as a broom
TheFamilyElf 17
Grandfathers are the funniest people in the world, hands down. Don't take it seriously, OP. He's most likely kidding. Even if he wasn't, I'm sure you looked stunning.
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Comments (211)
tdawg4200 0
White isn't slimming. Black is. Good news for your funeral. But seriously put down the fork.
anniekins 6
It's okay, haters gonna hate. Even if it's your gramps.
zebralover23 14
Aww):
anji23 1
I think that if you can't figure out how to have sex, then you were not ready in the first place...
Trivelo 0
I think its better at "they see you rolling"
derkster 6
Oh my
MaxG123 8
This made my day! Absolutely Hilarious..
twifan1901 0
Haters gonna hate
gracehi 33
It's okay. He'll probably die soon :)
vinachin 5
Old people always tell the truth :)
badactor009 0
Far from it! Brace yourself for an alternative opinion from a verified geezer hater. Old folks can be some of the most manipulative, lying and selfish scumbags on the planet. Rude and don't care and many of them shoplift. That is a fact. The kind old granny stereotype is a rarity. Open your eyes and you won't be defending them as a group. The geezer in this FML knew it was the brides big day and he opens his mouth like that? Someone should have popped him in the beak after the ceremony. It is not about if she is chunky or not. Damn geezer should have kept his mouth shut during the wedding ceremony. Better yet,he should have been locked up where he belongs. I'll bet he is everyones favorite guest at family dinners (sarcasm included ).
bankrupt 15
No. 180, you have said a mouthful! A lot of old people use their age as an exuse to behave horribly. They are rude, they line cut, they demand things they are not entitled to, they snarl and snap at others to drop what they are doing to wait on them, etc. Being old does NOT give you the right to tell off a supermarket checkout clerk for not accepting your expired coupons or butt into the front of the seating line at a restaurant. Use coupons that haven't expired and wait your freaking turn like grown ups, please.