Today, I was re-watching my wedding video. As I was walking down the aisle, you could hear my grandfather mutter "Here comes the bride, all fat and wide." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a wedding. After videotaping the ceremony for a few minutes, my memory was full. I went to delete another video. I accidentally played the loudest video I had. No one was looking at the bride or groom anymore. FML
Today, I got married. My father saw this as a good time to give some solemn, heartfelt advice to my new husband: "That ring gets real heavy fast." I was standing right there. So was my mother. FML
Today, I belched. In the middle of my wedding vows. FML
Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one rip. My husband yelled, "She likes to eat beans." FML
Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML
Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML
Today, I went to a wedding with my family. While the maid of honor was giving her non-heartfelt, three sentence speech, my mom and I started talking about how lame her speech was. When I turned around to look at my mom, I saw the camera recording the speech behind her. FML
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my grandma, who's tried to ruin every relationship to date, stood up and shouted that "it ain't right", "you're too good for her", and claimed my fiancée has been cheating on me, before she was finally ejected from the building. FML
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Top comments
rubberduckie94 13
Here comes the groom skinny as a broom
TheFamilyElf 17
Grandfathers are the funniest people in the world, hands down. Don't take it seriously, OP. He's most likely kidding. Even if he wasn't, I'm sure you looked stunning.
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Comments (211)
MegaElectric 1
Wow! I feel bad for you. How ever if you were fat and wide you wouldn't be married now would you?
ohmandapants 17
So people who are overweight don't get married? What kind of fucktard logic is this?
ProhibitionRose 14
An idiots logic. Not everyone in the world is shallow. The term "chubby chasers" exists for a reason. OP found a man who loves her for who she is, not whether or not she looks good in a bikini. The amount of shallow dicks in this world disgusts me.
sceptic 1
Oh stfu! Fat people get to marry fat people and good looking people get to marry each other!
EvilCupcake8361 9
154: I love how you spelled skeptic wrong
MissHayleyJames 7
Oh really 154? Then why am I 185 and my husband is 180 and 6'6 and a bodybuilder? I'm big and beautiful and he loves me for me even though he's got an amazing body and is sexy as hell.
haleyaubrey1 0
Win
sean5 0
He talkin bout dat as s
Maxon_fml 4
Something to show the kids lol
eriksen 16
I think your grandfather and I would become great friends
MargieDrury 1
Like older men ok. That old.....
Awsumuzzie 12
You can find men your age with the same rude attitude as him... You reverse cougar.
jkamme54 2
What the hell is with your pic dude?
ZombieKittenz 6
People, she said grandFATHER. boy, male, penis.
SooInnLovee 6
I like how a lot of people misread grandfather for grandma. Silly kids. And I'm sorry OP that's mean at least you didn't hear it ON your wedding day that would have ruined your happy mood :/ mean grandfathers...gotta love them though haha
micahz2 0
That's rude, why is humanity like such?
Pandacupcakelove 26
-.- please take your emo bullshit elsewhere.
kira74 6
95 How is that emo bullshit?
aenesbanaenes10 5
i wish my grandfather was tht cool
ss_20_xx 14
" Nice attitude for my special day granddad. "