Today, I was re-watching my wedding video. As I was walking down the aisle, you could hear my grandfather mutter "Here comes the bride, all fat and wide." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a wedding. After videotaping the ceremony for a few minutes, my memory was full. I went to delete another video. I accidentally played the loudest video I had. No one was looking at the bride or groom anymore. FML
Today, I got married. My father saw this as a good time to give some solemn, heartfelt advice to my new husband: "That ring gets real heavy fast." I was standing right there. So was my mother. FML
Today, I belched. In the middle of my wedding vows. FML
Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one rip. My husband yelled, "She likes to eat beans." FML
Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML
Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML
Today, I went to a wedding with my family. While the maid of honor was giving her non-heartfelt, three sentence speech, my mom and I started talking about how lame her speech was. When I turned around to look at my mom, I saw the camera recording the speech behind her. FML
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my grandma, who's tried to ruin every relationship to date, stood up and shouted that "it ain't right", "you're too good for her", and claimed my fiancée has been cheating on me, before she was finally ejected from the building. FML
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Top comments
rubberduckie94 13
Here comes the groom skinny as a broom
TheFamilyElf 17
Grandfathers are the funniest people in the world, hands down. Don't take it seriously, OP. He's most likely kidding. Even if he wasn't, I'm sure you looked stunning.
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Comments (211)
perdix 31
I learned that in about second grade. I guess it's been around a lot longer than that! You just gotta love the FMLs where fat people are surprised that other can detect that they are fat.
a_lenzmeier 11
I agree. I guess it's a common courtesy to not point out the obvious when it comes to fat people. If that's the case, I think in return the obese should provide us the common courtesy of paying for two airplane seats.
bankrupt 15
At my bridal shower, my grandmother said I was lucky to find a man willing to overlook my gigantic ass. I was 97 lbs. and comfortably wore a size 4 in pants. How big could my ass have possibly been? And she was waddling around in a size 18 when she said this. Some grandparents just like to point the 'fat' finger at their grandkids. Now you know what a nasty, rude person your grandfather is, OP. Just ignore him.
chosha_fml 27
This isn't about him 'detecting' she's fat. It's about her grandfather ridiculing her behind her back on her wedding day and loudly enough that other people would have heard it (as it was loud enough to get picked up by the video mic). He's her grandfather. He should just be happy for her and keep his negative opinions out of her wedding day.
bankrupt 15
Yes, No. 127, you are exactly right. Why would a man rip the bride, his granddaughter, as she is walking down the aisle and do it loudly enough for others to hear? If I were at a wedding and overheard someone ridicule the bride, I would think that person is a rude, low class jerk. If you cannot go to a wedding and shut your piehole and be happy for the couple, then stay the **** home and don't ruin the day.
Pandacupcakelove 26
What kind of evil grandfather is that? :O
ilyarmiehammer 6
Ah old people, gotta love em'
samuel1678 0
1. it waa the grandpa who said it not the grandma. 2. tell him to shove it where the sun dont shine.
EasilyAmused85 3
same type of bs my grandfather would say. they think it's ok cuz they are old. jerks
Bladeofarzeal 6
I'm really sorry OP, fyl indeed but I can't stop laughing...
coffeechick 1
Oh please, you're fine. You got married right? You're still married??? So your grandpa said that,think someone already asked this,did your hear your grandpa say that while you were walking down the aisle? Your grandpa sounds like a hoot.I dont remember mine,they died 40+ years ago.
7SeasOfRhye 1
steal his dentures!
SeemsToFail 0
Way to take the attention, grandpa
sougstad 7
Lol your grandfather must be Clint Eastwood!