Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
Today, my 3 year old nephew was sitting on my knee at the computer. He was annoying me as he kept on pressing all the buttons. To scare him off I did a creepy voice in his ear that makes him cry. He turned round and broke my nose. FML
Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, I was babysitting my 5 month-old nephew, who hasn't pooped in two days according to his mom. Well, he pooped. I accidentally stuck my finger in it. While I was wiping my finger off, he rolled over and peed on my new carpet. I rolled him over to clean the pee and he opened fire and pooped again. FML
Today, I was playing with my 5 year-old neighbor. I was changing and he saw me naked. Then he went home and his parents came over. Apparently, he told them that I have beautiful boobs. FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter got royally annoyed at my uncle who won't stop surprise tickling her by poking her waist. When he went for another, she punched him square on the nose, making him a laughing stock. Not accepting that he got owned, he started preaching about child discipline to me. FML
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Top comments
triplebeerox 27
You definitely need to talk to the mom so she doesn't think you're molesting her kid
Johnnycake23 42
Kids are little demons!
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Comments (86)
horsegirl96 1
I honestly read that you licked his armpits
dreamful_artist 14
I bet that put a good image in her mind.
assassinbanana0 20
I'm pretty sure she doesn't want that "good image" in her mind.
Johnnycake23 42
My biggest fear is some kid will falsely accuse me of molestation. That shit ruins your life no matter how innocent you are!
Paras_800 27
If you explain what you were doing, I bet the mom will understand.
heryseshta 9
And people wonder why I don't like to interact with kids, this is fairly common.
ShadowGenius 12
This reminds me of an episode of South Park
Johnnycake23 42
My ex fiancee loved to tickle me because I'm a big dog and would squeal like a little girl. Hated that shit!
davincidasecond 24
So there's a chance I might see you on Steve Wilkos now?
Stillo 25
Kids.... Aren't they just great..... Meh
iRambo 12
What did the mother say in this?