Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. When we got there, I hugged his mother, and she glared at me. Later that day, I heard her telling her son that he should leave me because I smell like cigarettes, and she hates smokers. I don't smoke, my boyfriend does. He did all the way there. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my parents met my boyfriend, and to say it went badly is an understatement. My mom went outside to relax by chain smoking and the shouting, and the screaming only ended when my dad took my boyfriend by the scruff of the neck and threw him out the front door into the street. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
Today, my mother chewed me out for not wearing deodorant and smelling of B.O. I was wearing plenty of deodorant. My shirt just smelled like my boyfriend, whom I'd been cuddling with earlier. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to break down and cry because his mother hates me for unknown reasons. I walked in, gave him a long hug, and started sobbing. I then saw his mother. She was visiting him to complain about how terrible a person I am. FML
Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML
Today, I’m so over my boyfriend smoking too many cigarettes, and I hate cigarettes. The smell is just disgusting and plus it makes my nose stuffy. And he gets ashes everywhere. Plus he always leaves his room a mess. Other than him being financially stable and fun, he's such a slob. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML
Today, I rushed to my son’s house, eager to meet my new grand-baby, who his annoying wife wouldn’t let me see at the hospital. Before I could even pick the baby up, his wife started freaking out that I “smelled like cigarettes” and threw me out because it was “bad for the baby.” FML
Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML
Today, I was in my bedroom with my boyfriend and we were kissing. My mom then came into my room and started shouting at my boyfriend for cheating on her. FML
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Top comments
genius_man16 1
If he didn't stand up for you, dump him.
Bullshet 0
Your bf sounds like a douche. He's willing to ruin your reputation just so he doesn't get in trouble with his mother? That's pretty low.
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Comments (83)
Ellery_fml 0
ahahaha
genius_man16 1
If he didn't stand up for you, dump him.
DameGreyWulf 1
Much agreed!
ilovechocochipz 0
wait.... how does the mom not notice it on her own son? weird...
Astroman129 7
Yeah, but maybe this worked for the better. If the boyfriend doesn't stand up for her or appreciate her, she should leave him. @OP: If he doesn't tell his parents it was him, dump him. There are way better men out there.
greenkitty19 0
you should have brought febreeze to go it take away all smells for a while.
palleas_fml 0
lol, no biggie, I'm sure it'll all settle out just well ^^
scorpioserpent 1
Yeah, I hope he admitted he is the one who smokes.
Bullshet 0
Your bf sounds like a douche. He's willing to ruin your reputation just so he doesn't get in trouble with his mother? That's pretty low.
XOfiestypixie 0
Er, so shouldn't he smell like smoke too? Or is his mother to much of a psycho to think that her son is actually the smoker and thinks the OP caused him to smell like smoke?
plexico 4
You nailed it, pixie! My thought is that the mother said she stinks of cigarettes, but she really means that she stinks as a person (nothing to do with the olfactory sense whatsoever). The boyfriend and his mother have that weird Oedipal thing going on, so the OP would be better off moving on and finding a man who has a normal relationship with his mom.
XOfiestypixie 0
Agreed. =) Girls should learn to ask questions before dating someone: 1) Are you a stalker? 2) Have you been known for cheating on past girlfriends? 3) Do you have an Oedipus complex?
plexico 4
#2 is kind of a trick question. "Have you cheated on past girlfriends?" would be a direct, straight-forward question. But the "Have you been known to" part suggests that when you cheat, do you do it discreetly enough that the girlfriend and the people around you are unaware of it? So which do you really want, pixie, a faithful boyfriend or one whom you can THINK is faithful?
genius_man16 1
I think the answer, plex, is most obviously the latter. We all know how girls gravitate toward assholes. How else would you have gotten married?
plexico 4
I gave you a thumbs-up for your comment. I thought it was funny. When I hear women complaining about men, I gleefully chime in with one of my faves: "All of the good ones are taken -- and so are most of the assholes!"
SusanaSaysRawrxD 0
Ohhh, burn. S'okay, Plexico shrugged it off well x]
plexico 4
Susana, Keep in mind that what I say does not necessarily reflect who I truly am. I'll say some things sincerely, but others facetiously. Never take me too seriously (except that one with the baby being born with a genetic disorder. That truly made me sad.)
SusanaSaysRawrxD 0
I understand, Plex, I'm the same way. 90% of what I say is sarcasm or a joke. Which doesn't translate well online.
The_Pleb 0
Haha thumbs up
genius_man16 1
Lol plex, I love that line, 'all the good ones are taken -- and so are most of the assholes' I never cease to get a good chuckle from your comments. :P My comment was also in jest, which I'm sure you understood, although most people seem to not realize that, haha. It's cool that I'm awesome enough to get buried though, I suppose that means people are reading my comments. ;)
kukopia 0
How is this a FML???
Intoxicunt 6
Because now a person she has to deal with and would want to impress thinks badly of her, and her loser BF didn't stick up for her.
palleas_fml 0
intoxicunt to the rescue ! :p
XOfiestypixie 0
woot woot intoxicunt. =D
Intellectualist 0
lol
Einstein714 0
rat him out in front of mom, cause he's got no balls
Inked2009 0
You are so smart!