Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I wanted to top up my shower gel dispenser. After carefully squeezing the entire tube into the dispenser, I realized why it looked so white: I'd mixed the remaining shower gel with the entire tube of fancy, expensive, organic body lotion that my grandma had given me for Christmas. FML
Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML
Today, I realized that the "toothpaste" that I'm always cleaning out with my hands from the sink drain is actually my little brother's semen. FML
Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML
Today, my younger brother and my parents were in my dorm room. When I wasn't looking, my brother opened the top drawer of my dresser (where I had a tube of half-used lube) and asked out loud: "What's Astroglide?" FML
Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML
Today, I found out why the amount of mouthwash hasn't been decreasing much recently when I walked in on my dad using it and then spitting some of it back in the bottle. FML
Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML
Today, my younger brother decided it would be funny to put rubbing alcohol in my contact lens case while I had them soaking overnight. I didn't realize this until I put the first one in. FML
Today, while getting dressed, I discovered that when my brother and his friends got drunk last night one of them wanked into a pair of my panties and put them back in my wardrobe. The crusty mess pressed right into my groin. I had to clean dry spunk out of my pubic hair. FML
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Top comments
ROFLBERRYPIE 0
Better check your toothpaste.
uberletepoon 10
check your sunscreen in the summer too. unless you like SPF 69
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Comments (271)
mandikay23 3
owned!!
gabbster95 0
and you would know this because? lol
InBetweenDreams 0
It probably is good for your hair since it's mostly protein. :) Still, that's gross!
josephhhhhh 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
protein?? what the eff...idiot
bfad2010 0
it actually is mostly protein.. she's right... idiot
InBetweenDreams 0
Maybe I shouldn't have said "mostly" protein, but it does have protein in it. Look it up. Semen is only 10% sperm. The rest is made up of enzymes, protein, vitamin C, calcium etc. One average ejaculation has 150 mg of protein. I don't see how I'm an idiot. :/
StoryOfTheYear 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
or you could just be a normal person and not shampoo your hair for a week or two and you get some nice, eco-friendly grease to style your hair up with Then none of this would've happened >.>
Takador 3
1) atleast it was older bro, couldve been worse if it was a youger brother 2) horse semen is good for your skin
josephhhhhh 0
lmao so semen is good after work out...good to know!
AwesomeAsFcuk 0
well I can see how that's disgusting taken that they aren't yours but there's definitely nothing wrong with using your own. it's healthy for your hair and the smell makes most girls horny. I mean I use it all the time and my hair is beautiful.
stro88 6
hahaha. gut check your bro.
capt_awesome1 11
49 is right, a single ejaculation had as much protein as a medium sized steak. just saying. (:
fudgepirate 0
am i the only one thinking his brother must be really gay to jack off with his into a jar...
fudgepirate 0
oops i meant with his friend..
dakota154 0
97 I hope your joking...
Fresh4416 0
yes, I've heard semen had vitamins and protein in it. Anyways, open your mouth, it's time for your daily vitamins.
onepluszero 0
152 n 49, u would know all those facts about semen...
JManHobbs 0
^creep
gamercanadian 11
^yes he is lol
EatMoreRice 0
you sure have a lot of knowledge abi out semen, don't you..
Jizwold 0
this fml is full of homosexuality unless op is a chick In which case wincest
meetmissmayhem 4
#97 I really hope you're joking. If you're not joking then you're seriously a sick disgusting loser. Gross.
snowwhite92 5
It also contains half your daily intake of salt.
repede 0
thats interesting, you would think you would know what cum looks like... then again when it's mixed with some form of shampoo, who really knows what it looks like
iSitt 0
op didn't Smell something funky ?
therealdavid 0
Doesn't semen dry up if its not frozen?
Warlemming 7
If it's in a jar or container I would imagine it wouldn't especially when mixed with real gel.
cameron_natasha 0
what does op mean?
musicfreak9821 6
op means original poster.!
BlackMoon_fml 9
How did you not notice? Gel and "man-juice" have completely different textures. >_>
urlifesfked 0
You would know, wouldn't you?
thebignixie 0
I'm sorry but 30 made me laugh
WillKill4Beer 0
Your a hot lil snow bunny! <3 :P
Sweetpea137 0
win
Toxicweed69 0
abt to say that
kidskater24 0
damn ur sexy! but then again true...how WOULD you know? O.o
jeremyt8nc 6
Her profile says Prostitution..ha
mightymart 5
you guys need to get out more...
Give_Linux_A_Go 28
there's something about mary...
TheBarnacle 4
this. is. just. epic.
MrsConcieded2k14 0
I agree
KirstenLovesYou 0
totally!
bmiller2047 0
your hair must've been awesome like in there's something about mary ;)
ZacharyClift 1
that movie rocked.
nicole1784 0
i was just thinking that!
emohunter 0
same
BeautyBaby099 18
Haha that's what I was thinking
projoe 0
hahaha older brothers are so mean :P mine is moving out soon... maybe I will be free of pranks like tht for a while, at least in my house hold! maybe you'll cum up with a way to get back at him op! (ha see Wht I did there?)
stephanie911_fml 0
I hope that's UK colors and not Duke( :
Tyraen 6
ok, if you point out what you did there, it's not funny anymore.
jeremyt8nc 6
screw Duke..Go Tar Heels..my cousin went to UK
ghost303 3
icwutudidthar
ROFLBERRYPIE 0
Better check your toothpaste.
disneydork96 0
^ win
ThatGuyWithTheFa_fml 0
^Agreed
actingbro 3
that actually made me crack up
SchiTzenGiglez 0
haha ur tummys full of man jelly
Tryit132 0
win^^
Riya2595 15
I swear ur not supposed to swallow toothpaste
kerry1116 0
HA!
A4zzzA4 0
true winner
PurpleChick96 3
Well. spit or swallow? Lol.
Aznoe 0
Thats queer is ur bro **** wit his friends
uberletepoon 10
check your sunscreen in the summer too. unless you like SPF 69
dannyrangeltacos 0
I laughed! hahaha
SluggerJ 7
Bahahaha I love it
hatestheworld 0
Win.
bfad2010 0
haha American pie!
F3LiCkZ 0
double win
Robotata 6
OMG. How did they do that?
Doortje 30
Do you really want an answer to that?
amanduh172 2
yes
TaylorTotsYumm 10
They bukkaked a bottle?
FTW56 0
your just jealous u were not in the circle jerk
Jaylishaaa 0
that would be nice to know.. no lie.. haha
cupcake112397 0
yes