Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML
Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML
Today, my friend was waiting outside the store while I bought a newspaper. Through the window, I saw two guys getting physical with him, so I went outside and they took off. I muttered, "Yeah, I thought so." They then turned around and beat the crap out of us. FML
Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to the self-check. I scanned the condoms, then a magazine and tried to put the condoms under the magazines to hide them. The store guy saw me, thought I was shoplifting and I was kicked out of the store. FML
Today, I was in the 'intimacy' section of Walmart. After grabbing 2 boxes of condoms and a vibrating ring I turn around to see my ex boyfriend's mom. I smile awkwardly and put my head down as I walk away, causing me to colide with his dad and send my 'goodies' all over the floor. FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML
Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML
Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML
Today, I was standing in line at the checkout, and my children were arguing with each other. The guy in front of me sighed loudly and told me over his shoulder: "There're these things called condoms, you know." FML
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Top comments
MonsterCommenter 4
You sir, have reached level 99 of Assholishness and YDI.
mpsteve137 15
I wish I could hit YDI twice. Douche.
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Comments (231)
DarkAngel6914 4
I'd probably think the same thing though for your situation
martin8337 36
What about the fact that we live in an overpopulated and underfed world and these people are being part of the problem?
SexyMexi21 23
Lol should have ran!
Solano2580 24
He isn't an asshole, if she was a teenager then she shouldn't have those things anyway
fantasyworld 39
It's not your place to judge and she could have looked young for her age.
CheddarBug8 20
I get asked if my baby sisters are mine when I push them around in their stroller. YDI for being a jerk
BloodyGlass 10
Did you call the cops? That was battery and could go to jail for beating you up. And yes, if you see someone pregnant, with kids, or has an STD/STI, yeah, it's too late to be thinking about protection.
lapua47 3
Definitely don't make a comment your ass can't cash.
Sp4wn 17
The amount of butthurt in these comments is incredible. I mean he didn't deserve to get beat up. He just made a comment. Not rude or even provocative. If people think OP is such a "Douche" for making a comment then you need to re-evaluate the situation. Seriously, you're acting like he just full on punched someone for no reason and was confused on why he got beat up.
oliversoden101 14
I know this is wrong but that's actually pretty funny but ydi