Today, I was on the London underground reading a newspaper. A huge guy was sitting next to me and there weren't many other people around. As I turned a page, he leaned into me, glaring, and said, "I'm not finished yet". At the next stop I put down the paper and jumped off. It wasn't even my stop. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML
Today, while I was on the bus to work, a morbidly obese man sat down next to me. When my stop came and I stood up to get off, he just looked at me, said with a smirk, "good luck with that," and went back to reading his paper. I missed my stop. FML
Today, I was on the subway, when the girl opposite me suddenly started shouting and accusing me of photographing her. I was reading a book on my phone, and I showed her the screen, but I got shoved around anyway by another guy, who threatened to report me for being a pervert. FML
Today, I was reading a newspaper at a bus stop when a creepy guy rested his chin on my shoulder and said, "I miss the good old days, when people would read newspapers together and it wasn't classed as weird." He then walked off. FML
Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML
Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
Today, while on the train to university, I realized it was my stop and quickly stood up to get off. Or I would have, if my leg hadn't gone to sleep and caused me to fall, landing face first into the crotch of the old guy in front of me. FML
Today, I took the subway. The man sitting across from me would not stop staring at my breasts, so when the train came to my stop, I said, "Nothing to see now, asshole." Then I noticed his white walking stick as he got up to get off. He was blind. FML
Today, I was sitting on the bus and as I'm quite short my legs were dangling. Some guy, who wasn't looking where he was going, tripped over my foot and went flying. He and everyone else on the bus glared at me like it was deliberate. The man next to me even changed seats in disgust. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
krundale 6
Poor guy didn't even get to finish reading.
christian1509 21
Leaving before your stop is kind of overdramatic. Couldn't you just have given him the newspaper or something?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (118)
Omniprism 15
I would have just handed him that portion or the entire paper. And said you could have just asked for the paper and not been a dick while you handed it to him. Sorry that happened. He's a bully.
happyconverse 10
I would have done the same thing.
Xotoolyxo 16
Why not just get up and walk to another section,
foxwasalamb 24
seems youve made a new friend
HowsBoutaRoadie 8
Pussy
ZoroMiHawk 25
The bigger they are, the harder they fall.
Quackadoodledoo 13
Haha..some of these comments! I'll explain what happened in more detail and I think you'll see why I got off the train. 1. It was around midnight, and I was alone in the carriage apart from someone down the opposite end. 2. The guy got on the train, looked around at all the empty seats...eyed me up...and then sat next to me. 3. He was ******* massive, looked ******* pissed off, and I just knew he was up for a fight. 4. Is there an aftershave that smells of vodka? Errr...no, I didn't think so! I was by myself, on my way back from a night out, in a pretty good mood, and was not going to get into a fight with some ******* moron on the tube. And given his mental state, I decided it was best not to confront him to talk it out! And to those of you who said I should hit the gym...ha! I'm 5ft11, 88kg, and in good shape. Just to put things into perspective - I bench 90kg and squat 140kg..and yes..full sets. I used to do Krav Maga (a form of martial arts), so basically...I'm a pretty big guy and I can look after myself. BUT when some ******* drunk lunatic has got it in for me for no reason...I'm getting out. So, JUST before the doors closed at one of the stations, I jumped out my seat and got off. The look on his face was priceless. The next train came about 5 minutes later.
SweetPatchWater 5
I think you did the right thing, I personally would of did the same thing. knowing he was looking for trouble seeking you out of many empty seats, I had to go through something similar today some ass walking up close behind me in the supermarket but I let loose on him instead of walking away lol. His reaction was to run out the store, if he was looking for a fight I was ready, but I guess he wasn't ready for me to be. I'm just a tiny preggo.
Bi_ShrDiWun 10
I teach martial arts/self defense. Your "technique" was perfect sir - perfect. I will quote your story to my students as an example.
fantasyworld 39
You did the right thing.
cbeigs 5
Man up
FerniieBabiie 14
Phil Mitchell?
Themainvain 3
Relax it was only Hagrid. He's a friendly half giant.