Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML
Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML
Today, the water cut out while I was showering, covered in soap and shampoo. I had to rinse with freezing cold drinking water from the fridge. As soon as I'd dried off, the water supply got restored. FML
Today, I was woken up ungodly early by my dad, who didn't give me even 5 seconds to wake up before barking orders at me to clean the septic tank screen, because it was clogged, but he needed to go to work. Conveniently, he'd already had a shower and "didn't notice" the gurgling toilet until he was done. FML
Today, I went up to take a shower. I typically go to the bathroom first, I take a mega dump, then flush the toilet. Not only wouldn't the toilet flush but I found out my parents only keep one plunger on hand. It was in the downstairs bathroom. My dad came upstairs and plunged the toilet while I stood there naked. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, I discovered my new step-dad has a rule about the shower. After three minutes, he turns the water off at the source. I had to beg him to turn it back on whilst covered in shampoo suds, and the only way I could get him to give me another minute was to forfeit my phone for the week. FML
Today, I flushed the toilet while my boyfriend was showering. He responded by throwing a huge fit, saying how if he “gets a cold” from being “forced” to shower in cold water, I’m gonna “have to stay home and take care of him until he’s better.” FML
Today, I was doing laundry and realized that my father had left dirty underwear soaking in a bucket outside for the last two weeks. I informed him that they needed to be thrown out, and they smelled like sewage. It's been over 95 degrees outside lately here. He then yelled and sweared at me. FML
Today, I woke up to a strange sound that sounded like a lot of water being poured into a sink. It was actually my father in law using the bathtub as a toilet. He's staying with us, and is showing no signs of leaving any time soon. He thinks this is acceptable behavior. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Freezing cold sludge? He obviously had that in the freezer waiting for you and had been planning this for a long time. This will require revenge of epic proportions. If your revenge doesn't involve prostitutes, the mafia, and the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, I'll be very disappointed.
Jeremy_162 6
Your dad is evil.
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Comments (190)
shantazat 0
Okay
DrDilllonReese 12
Yeah, okay. I feel sooooo informed after reading that...
Cad6 24
Nice first comment. It definitely exemplifies your brilliance in crafting a comment that is so wonderfully appealing that it blows everyone's eyes out.
Jeremy_162 6
Your dad is evil.
olpally 33
Sounds like a family guy episode, but only in real life this time... Lol, fyl op, what a dick
Cad6 24
Get your dad back by turning on the sprinklers when he is cutting the lawn.
Jonkbaby 23
take a dump on your dad then say "who needs water NOW" Eh? Eh.
JocelynKaulitz 28
That's pretty messed, But could it also be that maybe you're just taking showers that are too long, or using too much water, perhaps?
KeyboardWarrior 10
17 Was that because OP lives in Canada, eh? Eh? If so, well played.
TheElderTROLLZ 15
He's not evil! He's mega-uber-unbelievably evil! Or awesome for others. Whatever strikes your fancy.
n_epic_fail 14
He's just initiated war. It's your right to do anything it takes to win.... Show no mercy.
bubbles42597 0
And the prank war begins ...
CookieGirl4ever 13
#9 that's it! He's been watching too much Family Guy! :p (sorry if that sounded better in my head)
MattBC97 4
#9 ahahaha, love the pic... I have an almost identical pic in about the same seats from a Hawks vs. Lightning game.
SnipeFatPeople 6
Haha his dad is awesome. If he did that to me, I'd be mad until very thing was over. That's hilarious!
RochelleRedvines 8
That's when you take a nap on his bed, sludge and all.
stewpididiot 11
Yep... 1/2 hour jack off sessions in the shower can really run the bills up...Op will realize that when he's paying the gas & water bills.
InstantRanbowMix 0
17 Dude, no that's just gay.
kodyrsswanson 6
Pics or it didn't happen
BlvckScvle 2
Later did he know sludge and cold water will clog the drain lol
CalebEatsZombies 2
This is natural,
touchesthelight 8
I have to agree with #126. You should have laid on your dad's bed and rolled all over it until you cleaned yourself off!
CookieGirl4ever 13
I just realized that 118 was the one who got more happy birthday's on his **** account than on FaceBook.
Feared 9
Wow
katieeamberr 2
Sludge? Gross. Sorry OP. your dads hilariously a douche
bellakaykid 6
OP, why would you not lock the door?
thiscrazything 1
So what did you do to piss him off so bad?
wallandpiece 16
I honestly don't understand why any sane, normally functioning person would even think of doing this.
ghirahim 5
Mid-life crisis ?
TheBlackCops 0
Just roll in his bed.
mfjkr 10
Turn the water on yourself?
thejewishfuhrer 17
Your dad sounds like quite a character. He would be welcome on USA.
Cad6 24
in*
Danny0522 8
Your picture says it all
EnterSandman_fml 20
I think he means USA Network. Their slogan is 'Characters Welcome'.
KiddNYC1O 22
26 people don't have USA network...
letsgooo_fml 23
What a dick.
TheDog6 24
Hey. Look on the bright side ... Yea I couldn't think of one either.
sparkrok 8
in a box
bones_17 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Probably deserved it!!
ladyLALAA 29
I don't think anyone deserves that, how gross, but I do wonder what OP did to provoke the situation. I call prank war!
torch433 1
idiot no one deservers tht
curryisforGs 2
It's little bitches like you that end up putting hundreds of YDIs on FMLs where the OPs were completely innocent. I hope you're happy when you think that they deserve that, because I think I see a shadow with a bucket full of icy sludge coming up behind you.
ericahippiechick 0
Damn it. Sorry for accidentally liking your ridiculously stupid comment.
DocBastard 40
Freezing cold sludge? He obviously had that in the freezer waiting for you and had been planning this for a long time. This will require revenge of epic proportions. If your revenge doesn't involve prostitutes, the mafia, and the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, I'll be very disappointed.
Cad6 24
I would be surprised if you could actually even use the Canadian Mounted Police, Mafia, or Prostitutes in any form of revenge.
ZooMzy 9
20 - With that kind of attitude, you never will.
bellaxmonkeyx_fml 8
20- It takes a few phone calls and a hefty amount of bacon, but it's a perfectly plausible course of action. I can say from experience that it works like a charm. The toothpaste cap is always on, the toilet seat is always down, but my boyfriend started wanting me to call him "Boss" and there's always glitter in the sink...
Beebow_fml 5
50- I wish I could pay prostitutes with bacon :(
bellaxmonkeyx_fml 8
53- You really aren't required to pay them unless you actually use them, so we have yet to pay a prostitute with bacon. They're there purely for the "moral support" of the Mounted policemen.
DaKillaMafia 2
Don't worry, I will help you in your epic revenge.
TheDrifter 24
Can he substitute regular Italian guys in a cadillac if there are no real mafiosa handy Doc? Op can double up on the hookers and RCMP to compensate.
bellaxmonkeyx_fml 8
75- I never thought about substituting regular Italian guys for the Mafia! To think, I've been shooting people with this broken gun that doesn't make any noise for these two guys who make me kiss their rings afterward. Your method seems less stress-inducing, by far.
TheDrifter 24
Happy to help. I'm sure Vinny and Antonio from the construction company would be cheaper to hire for a revenge prank. Come to think of it, they DO always seem to know a good piling hole that's about to be filled with concrete too...
gntfmlingnow 12
Or just get out of the shower, covered in sludge, and roll in his bed.
A7x4REVer 3
I got an uncle in the RCMP if he needs it ;P
ALpein 0
Bellaxmonkeyx, you may not know me, but we're to be wed soon.
kittykat1501 31
Doc, it seems like every time you comment, it ends up a top comment
chouter21 10
This is worse than 1guy 1jar and 2girls 1cup put together...
KeyboardWarrior 10
Okay?
tennisrapper1 14
God damnit why the **** do people make these references??? XP
EduJav321 24
Uneccessary
curryisforGs 2
Shut up. Just Shut up. Why? 1) Two Girls One Cup was hilarious. 2) Nobody wants to read your irrelevant shit.
chouter21 10
Chill girl
alexup24 13
how relevant?
DocBastard 40
CurryisforGs - your comment was unnecessarily obnoxious. I must disagree with the first (and last) sentence of your profile.
lenamartinovic 13
Dafuq?
philipino 24
I can't forget it if you keep talking about it! It seems like you people actually like that shit. . .
bizarre_ftw 22
It's an attraction to the shock factor
FirstTigerHobbes 13
Maybe he's going through his mid-life crisis? He needs the thrill of being an asshole!
sparkrok 8
If that's the case, my dad must be going through a perpetual mid-life crisis...
l23VIVE 17
Get. Rid. Of. Slimy. girlS. FTW! Legitimately i am named after this comic strip (my actual name is calvin)
Mariebaz 11
Ah, fun! Sludge is the BEST. That sucks, man. FYL for sure!