Today, I was alone in the car with my grandma for five hours while she told me all about the multiple bladder infections she's had in the past year. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was stuck in the car with my grandma for an hour as she described to me how she had looked through my great grandma's poop to make sure her calcium pills were being digested. FML
Today, I'm taking care of my bedridden, 94-year-old grandma. She woke me up at 6 a.m. only to tell me her UTI is still there. Later, she made me interrupt my 15-minute-dinner a total of 4 times because she wanted things like "more lotion in her buttcrack." FML
Today, I was with my grandma in my new car. She suddenly says, "I've got to pee bad." Without giving me enough time to find a gas station, she blurts out, "Never mind, I just did." FML
Today, I offered to drive my girlfriend's grandpa to the doctor. I thus learned my girlfriend's grandfather has a colostomy bag when it burst all over the inside of my truck. FML
Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML
Today, I was confiding in my grandma about how lonely I am and how everything in my life seems to be falling apart. While I was in mid-sentence, she rolled her eyes and made a show of removing her hearing aid. FML
Today, my grandmother loudly announced that she has a yeast infection. Under her breast. She attempted to show me. FML
Today, I bitched out my grandmother, who lives with my family, for being lazy and laying in bed until 6-7pm for the past month. When I was done, she told me she had been diagnosed with cancer and was depressed because of it. Nobody had bothered to tell me. FML
Today, after months of taking care of my grandma after a surgery, the doctors gave her a clean bill of health, and I finally got to sleep in my own bed. She passed away while I was at home. FML
Today, I went to the gym with my grandma. In the span of an hour, she was hit on more than I ever have been in my life. FML
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Top comments
nerdsgetmehot 23
Be lucky she wasn't talking about vaginal infections or her sex life. Seriously, it could have been a lot more painful...
KelceyLoves 0
Well I'm sure she didn't come up with the topic out of the blue. Why'd you bring it up?
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Comments (93)
marinus_fml 20
It could have been a lot worse!
junkboy 4
Rofl
EminemTM 0
it's funny because you were talking to your grandma
the_flirtt 0
hah I would of jumped out the car
justsayfuck 5
Is it me, or have you said that a few times already? Is it like your life motto or something? Anyway OP, you might actually learn something from it :D Like, dragging someone with you the next time you're planning on driving your grandma around.
marinus_fml 20
#9 i think you're mistaken.
mattman1994 0
Give her a taste of her own medicine, tell her all about your raging venereal disease. That should shut granny up
mona_is_here 10
Your grandma definitely has lack of communication.
Stupified 0
OP hire a hit man and you wont have to deal with her anymore. Or get over it, man up, and say "I don't wanna hear about your ancient pussy, Grandmama!", or somethin' a bit more respectful.
legonut4 0
it's funny because your grandmas bladder is infected
EminemTM 0
you look like my ex wife
mona_is_here 10
22, who are you talking to? Lol
KelceyLoves 0
Well I'm sure she didn't come up with the topic out of the blue. Why'd you bring it up?
Youser 0
tht suks
MrSassypants 34
1 is right! she could've tried to show you.
EminemTM 0
the girl who looks like my ex wife?
BehindTheSun 2
Damn it, now I want cheez its. Thanks #1.
XxconradxX 0
sounds like fun
robertdr 0
spell-(icup)then say (funny colors) spell-(ihop) then say (ness) i dont know i am bored
Sportsfan86 3
You deserved it for putting up with it for 5 hours. FYL for thinking it couldn't of been any worse. FYL for not sleeping. You deserved it for still listening through out 5 hours. You deserved it for lieing. I highly doubt she went on for 5 hours.
BehindTheSun 2
Haha... I ate yo penis...
sourgirl101 29
48 Robert I like you being bored. It was funny. Dont forget to look down your shirt and spell A-T-T-I-C. or bend over to tie your shoe and spell R-U-N
MrsxBillxKaulitz 5
better than talking about the runs.
jpeezy122808 0
yep much worse its not like she was sharing her sex life with you! talk about grosss!!! sex and old ppl dont mix! XD
robertdr 0
54 i forgot about those haha, since i am bored i will continue with chuck norris crack did u know his tears cure cancer?to bad he never cries
MarkSeattle 0
ydi for not being man enough to change the conversation. maybe if you were interesting or had something to say she wouldn't babble on about her bladder infections, lol.
mattman1994 0
in a fight, the only match for chuck norris is the one he lights you on fire with
Brittney_E 0
at least she wasn't farting throughout the whole five hours....
tweetbaby14 18
wow 48 I haven't heard any of those lame jokes for 10 years. way to go. and OP really if hearing about your grammas muffed up vag is the worst thing that happens to you today then please switch me lives.
deafeningsilence 8
Okay, who takes 5 hours to talk about their many bladder infections? She must have a pretty messed up bladder..
robertdr 0
chuck norris doesnt use condoms, nothing can protect you from chuck norris
degrassilovur 0
awww :'(
skroal 7
YDI for being alone in the car with your grandma for five hours while she told you all about the multiple bladder infections she's had in the past year.
LosAngelesSon 8
i agree with 67, 96 is probably old.
Joswah 0
Ewwwww. unlucky OP.
xyadove 8
that sucks! :O
I_have_no_clue 0
Who else was she doing to tell?
I_have_no_clue 0
*going
BehindTheSun 2
Her cat, duh.
I_have_no_clue 0
Don't you mean cats?
xoxo31 0
my grandma tells me about her diharrea
jackieeoo 0
well ya know old ppl these days
Ju99ernaut94 0
hey if you wanted to silence her you shouldve said "ive had genital herpes for six months but you dont hear me complaining " the look on her face priceless lol
Schizomaniac 24
You'd never make it as a physician. Shame on you.
paladinhio 0
marinus stop saying that... it's starting to annoy me And fyl that's bad :/
mattman1994 0
pssst! *looks around* that's why he's doing it!
Schizomaniac 24
#19, shut up. Your arm is broken, no one cares what you think.
yolie_fml 0
OP, your grandma is awesome!