Today, I was mistaken for a male prostitute because I was walking home while wearing my speedo after a swim in the public pool. I was arrested and had to stay in a room full of convicts for 4 hours. Still in a speedo. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in a hot tub at a public sauna. After chatting with a friendly couple, I decided to go get some lunch. I was halfway out of the water when the man started laughing and said he'd thought I was a woman. I am. FML
Today, I was once again mistaken for an escaped convict. I live near a women's correctional facility and apparently my nursing scrubs look a lot like their prisoners' uniforms. The cop made me late for work. FML
Today, I went swimming at a public pool. When I dove in, my speedos decided they’d had enough of me and slipped right off. I spent a minute underwater debating my life choices before realizing they’d floated to the shallow end, right next to a group of giggling kids. FML
Today, I was mistaken for a prostitute. Twice. While in my work uniform. FML
Today, I was on my way to work and wearing a tank top when I suddenly walked through 10 feet of sprinklers and got completely soaked. A cop flagged me down in front of a bunch of people, because apparently I matched the description of a "suspect". He stared at my boobs the entire time. FML
Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, I had to point out the "no shirt, no shoes, no service" sign at my work to an extremely old, seemingly intoxicated man wearing an ill fitting speedo. FML
Today, I went to the pool with my new white bathers. I felt really good about myself because everyone was staring at me until this hot guy came up to me and said "Dude, your bathers are see-through. You need to shave!" FML
Today, I went out on my back patio at night to skinny dip. I live on the intracoastal, and as I was walking towards my pool, the police were doing a random search. From a boat with a spotlight. At least their whistles told me they liked the birthday suit I had on. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
yesio12 13
don't drop the soap!
dbjb40 0
sucks for you next time don't where speedos there nasty
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (247)
JManHobbs 0
You were in a room with convicts despite the fact you had been arrested merely minutes before? I don't believe this FML. However, if it is true, YDI anyway.
flugiboogee 9
You looked *****-able.. that's a good one
jessicams 0
There are these great inventions called shorts. Why didn't you put them on over your speedo to walk home in?
heyfuq 1
ydi for weraing a speedo.
bugmenotmofo 34
YDI for not putting on some goddamn clothes.
shutyerpiehole 0
YDI for wearing a speedo.
meggtoeee 0
ydi for wearing a speedo
Sdras 0
Who wears speedo's anyway? Or do you go prancing down the street in your underwear as well? So yeah, YDI for thinking you can wear a speedo in public.
OhPandaPanda 0
Oho. You weren't mistaken for one, Mr. Speedo pants.
0671241409 0
my question.....why didn't u bring shorts....or at least a tee shirt....