Today, I went out on my back patio at night to skinny dip. I live on the intracoastal, and as I was walking towards my pool, the police were doing a random search. From a boat with a spotlight. At least their whistles told me they liked the birthday suit I had on. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I went skinny dipping with my friends. A security man drove up the dock we were on with his bike. After informing us that the dock was closed, and noticing all of our swimsuits on the dock, he refused to move his flashlight beam from us in the water. FML
Hey guys!
Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML
He needs them more than you
Today, I went skinny-dipping with my best friend. We were on the beach and it was fairly crowded but we got in the water at this really secluded area. While we were swimming I looked up to see a homeless man wearing my clothes, walking away. FML
Speedo Gonzalez
Today, I went swimming at a public pool. When I dove in, my speedos decided they’d had enough of me and slipped right off. I spent a minute underwater debating my life choices before realizing they’d floated to the shallow end, right next to a group of giggling kids. FML
Today, while at a pool party, I found out the reason I got my new, white bikini at such a bargain price; it goes completely transparent when wet. I only realized this after everyone was staring at me and whistling. FML
This is fine
Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML
Today, I was mistaken for a male prostitute because I was walking home while wearing my speedo after a swim in the public pool. I was arrested and had to stay in a room full of convicts for 4 hours. Still in a speedo. FML
The last laugh
Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML
Top comments
yumsugarr 8
Be proud of your body! (:
DocBastard 40
Sounds like the start of a **** movie. Cop: 'Scuse me, but we're looking for a dangerous criminal. OP: Sorry officer, I haven't seen anything. Cop: Ma'am, I'd like to frisk you. OP: Oh yes, search and seize me!!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (111)
ArcadePie 10
Malnourished black children
Yngve_fml 9
Meh, who really cares? If it's that big of a deal, report bad police behaviour.
SiimplExMaGikzZ 0
Just go and die
ters19 10
Lol that's hilarious
enonymous 9
I know I did!! My stache got wood off that mental image
fthislyfe 22
they get bored sometimes...
Ruler3000 17
Did they join you? :D
Rico_Mal1116 0
**** or GTFO?
D37H100 5
So you're hot? Why is this an FML? lol
dubstepp 15
Cops are rude for sure!
arsenalmnhs 0
Hey I'd rather get whistled at than get arrested for public indecency or something like that.
HannahJoButtons 2
So, if you own the land other people passing by can't see your nudity? Pretty sure it doesn't matter where you are...public nudity is still public nudity
MerrikBarbarian 9
her land backs onto water, ergo unless one boats past it's private. also, nudist colonies put up bushes and walls to stop people heckling. legally one can be nude on private land, even if it's visible from a public location. nude beaches anyone? there is a public beach here if you walk too far on the shore line you end up on the nude beach.
stro88 6
Did they at least tip?
nerdfighteria 7
61- Well, yeah. But in some places in the US, its considered public nudity if anyone can see you whether or not you're on private property. This guy got arrested because he was walking around naked in his house, but he didn't have curtains on the windows so his neighbors could see him.
PutItIn 8
I'm pretty sure it wasn't indecency 56.
yumsugarr 8
Be proud of your body! (:
nixter5 18
From the app I can't tell if OP is a man or a woman, can someone please tell me?
sophie2212_fml 0
Haha well atleast they weren't insulting you..
fthislyfe 22
11: No I can't. No one can. Only God knows... (But I'm assuming OP is a man...I just had the feeling)
flagg1888 3
11. I don't think gender is relevant. Unless you are using FML to stock up your wank-bank
TheOptimist 0
I assume that OP is a woman. I don't think that it was a bunch of woman cops doing the Randi search for bad guys, and my guess is they weren't a bunch of gay cops either. Of course the above two are possible, but there is a way greater chance that it was a bunch of male cops, and a female skinny dipper. Or I guess it could be lesbian cops.
TheOptimist 0
Gender may not be completely relevant, but some people are curious to know. So **** you. Also, a woman would probably be more emberassed about this. In fact, most men wouldn't be complaining if the women whistled because they liked what they saw, so this wouldn't be here. So another reason it is probably a woman.
fthislyfe 22
40: you're being TOO optimist :D I guess OP is male. And the cops were also male. It would be funnier this way. And they are not necessarily gay. They could just be making fun of him...
EnEl_Infierno 15
Haha, if Op is a woman they could of been whistling at her because >> (sexy) or if Op is a man they could of been whistling because , (funny).
badactor009 0
I agree! My wife has a bikini body and swims in our pool in the buff all the time. I love it. Did I mention that I really like it?
tylersign 11
Number 62, excuse my misunderstanding.. But your name has the term "bad actor" in it, and your picture is of Heath Ledger/ The Joker.. Am I missing something here?
jaboo61 0
Hey what's up? My names Seth
THE_A_TEEN 28
Seth who? Macfarlane? Green? Rogan? OUT WITH IT.
jaboo61 0
Wow stupid me! Ha! I agree with the other guy
leadman1989 16
No he's Seth from SUPER STREETFIGHTER FOUR!!!!
mrfluffy101 0
hey your really hott
summy15423 12
No one cares.
thahcanadian 0
you should be at least be happy they are complimenting you, but if you didn't really like that then just hope he chokes on his whistle
StoryOfTheYear 15
I could be wrong, but I would assume they were whistling with their lips, not a whistle.
Arch27 27
What, no pics? :) That does suck though. Just when you thought you were alone...
MrSassypants 34
Well clearly there are no pics, I have yet to see an FML with pics.
uffiewuffie 0
Then you haven't clicked on the illustrated FMLs.
MrSassypants 34
I have but people create and submit those and those aren't the actual pictures and... ah **** it.
shadystyle 6
7, I'm also in the 501st
Alex94xela 0
You da secsey(in Viet accent) But seriously lucky cops
Yngve_fml 9
Lucky? You haven't even seen OP and you wish to see her in a bathing suit? Are you by any chance 12 years old?
copy125 0
OP was naked, are you 12 or does someone have to explain to you what a birthday suit is?
Sgt_Minty 0
technicaly yes... he is 12
margie2194 12
NO guys he's 14. Hes old and wise.
pvtpilot 0
I think you missed EVERYTHING here. SLAP!!!!
Sae_Ghelk 6
He's only 9, give him a break!
jennyc246 8
mychonny, eh? save the inside jokes kid.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
What's the problem? They liked it.
Yngve_fml 9
I'm gonna go with just about one fourth of the comments on this page and say: "Sue them."
mtbrown 0
You can't due them for doing their job you would need a good lawyer to do it but I understand what your saying 15
BrianAlarcon 0
At least you looked good(: