Today, I was made aware that my teenage son used "Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter" as a reference point in a class debate as if it was a biopic. Oh dear. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my son thinks it's acceptable to use words like "on fleek" in high school level essays. FML
Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year-old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML
Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said they were for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML
Today, my son gave a beautiful eulogy at his uncle's funeral. At the pub afterwards, a bunch of family and friends told me what he did was pathetic, shameful, and an absolute disgrace. Turns out he plagiarised the entire eulogy, word for word, from a movie. FML
Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML
Today, I had to tell my teenage son that no, his knowledge of the English language was not passed down to him genetically. FML
Today, my son was on Facebook while he was supposed to be studying. He called me a liar and accused me of making up excuses to chew him out. How do I know he was online? He liked and commented on a video I posted. My son is a dumbass. FML
Today, I came across one of the pitfalls of having open discussions with my 15-year-old son when he asked me how to shave his pubes. FML
Today, my son came home for the fifth time saying he didn't get the job, wondering what he did wrong. I looked at his resumé; under special skills was, "Keeping it real." Apparently he saw it in a movie and thought it would work. FML
Today, I was told that my son has Twitter and Facebook accounts that he uses to try to bully people online, some of which are celebrities. He does it really badly, though. FML
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Top comments
theten_fml 9
Abe Lincoln freed the slaves after he returned from hunting vampires on his unicorn.
DocBastard 40
If Abraham Lincoln had actually gone around killing sparkly vampires, he'd have been my hero for TWO reasons.
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Comments (106)
SApprentice 34
He was just trying to seek attention from the class. Ground him for being willingly stupid.
ohSNAPyall 27
Rebuttal: Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies.
HelloChrissy 9
For his next class assignment he will probably talk about the structural context of Hogwarts. :)
hurrican_fml 0
Have you tried social studies tutoring?
boycrazy30007 12
Good movie, bad academic source.
Callyn 47
Your son has bad taste in movies. He should have used Arbaham Lincoln vs. Zombies, it's a much better film.
stupidpplsuck 33
you do know its a book too right? and that the book is always better
Ciraxas 7
The LOTR movies were a lot better than the book
Callyn 47
I did know that it is a book, but the book is irrelevant to The Asylum ripoff being a much better film.
sharksfan48 13
It's really a good movie to use for debating. I mean, when you are talking about world hunger, who wouldn't mention vampire slaying?
miss_sqwert 19
in that case dont ever let him watch abraham lincon zombie hunter. it will confuse his hole outlook on history
RaggleFrock 13
Nobody references tw...*click boom* *sad violin*
pmadNess 16
Uh, 68?, yes, sadly, sadly, they still do...