Today, I was made aware that my teenage son used "Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter" as a reference point in a class debate as if it was a biopic. Oh dear. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my son thinks it's acceptable to use words like "on fleek" in high school level essays. FML
Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year-old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML
Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said they were for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML
Today, my son gave a beautiful eulogy at his uncle's funeral. At the pub afterwards, a bunch of family and friends told me what he did was pathetic, shameful, and an absolute disgrace. Turns out he plagiarised the entire eulogy, word for word, from a movie. FML
Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML
Today, I had to tell my teenage son that no, his knowledge of the English language was not passed down to him genetically. FML
Today, my son was on Facebook while he was supposed to be studying. He called me a liar and accused me of making up excuses to chew him out. How do I know he was online? He liked and commented on a video I posted. My son is a dumbass. FML
Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML
Today, I came across one of the pitfalls of having open discussions with my 15-year-old son when he asked me how to shave his pubes. FML
Today, my son came home for the fifth time saying he didn't get the job, wondering what he did wrong. I looked at his resumé; under special skills was, "Keeping it real." Apparently he saw it in a movie and thought it would work. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
theten_fml 9
Abe Lincoln freed the slaves after he returned from hunting vampires on his unicorn.
DocBastard 40
If Abraham Lincoln had actually gone around killing sparkly vampires, he'd have been my hero for TWO reasons.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (106)
KatetheGeek 0
Shame. How could he do that to poor Abraham? He should really get his facts straight. Lincoln wasn't a slayer, he was the watcher! I mean who do you think trained that slayer back then?
TwitchingNebula 17
#2, maybe next time they'll reference this and not let you post comments next time.
KiRaKaT 9
You just had to bring up twilight #2....
SimonJester 1
Well, its not really much more fictional than what's in most of the history books about him.
dstluke 7
wait.... that was made up?
kitkattgirl 2
"I was made aware..." I cringe at those who use unneeded formal phrases. Your son's situation isn't nearly as horrible as your grammar.
slap_u_much 6
Awwww lol that book was good and so was the movie. It's ok though. When he grows up, he'll prob laugh at himself for doing that and tell his kids how he did a report on Abe Lincoln vampire hunter
0h_Boy 26
Did he win?
djgoreo 12
YDI that crap is fantastic and 100% historically correct
dixiefoxx 22
Don't worry, a guy that used to be a huge douche to me actually asked his friend "Who's Jimmy Carter? Is he a football player?" we were in 9th grade, and yes, this is a true story.. xD