Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, telling him how much I loved him. His answer? "Less lovin' more humpin'." This happens every single time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he started humping my leg and said, "I'm gonna hump the fatness out of you and make you beautiful." FML
Today, i told my boyfriend that I wasn't feeling emotionally well, and wanted cuddles. He proceeded to hump my leg. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I was laying in bed with my boyfriend. He started caressing me, his eyes were closed, and he said, “I love touching your boobs.” Which was actually a roll of fat on my stomach. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend why we never have sex anymore. He said, "Honestly, you lie there with your arms balled up against your chest, you don't moan or give any indication that you're enjoying things. It makes me really uncomfortable." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. His response? "Is that why you have been so clingy and annoying lately?" FML
Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
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Top comments
silly_kitten 9
That's when you say "Less humpin' more dumpin'."
zebraface 15
Ditch his ass
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Comments (198)
armedwithturtles 6
maybe you should offer more humping then
chris1913 5
Why are you even with him then?
Bless23 0
Fml's like these make the male population look bad.
Xashley_taylorX 3
Simple get a new one...
RooBooBear 0
"Every time"? If my boy said that to me I'd never give him any again.
DizzyDemon0 9
You deserve it. Why? Because you are letting him know that it's okay to be a jerk..and still get intimate with a girl. Stick up for yourself and show him that if he's going to be an asshat..then he can be an asshat with some other unlucky girl.
Nini101 2
I belive you shouldn't be with him because it seems as if he only wants sex from you and I believe thats not what you want.
jadejazmyn 5
he doesn't love you duh
Isaac_The_Great 0
I'd drop kick the shit out of him.
shoecrazy 5
The definition of insanity..