Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, telling him how much I loved him. His answer? "Less lovin' more humpin'." This happens every single time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he started humping my leg and said, "I'm gonna hump the fatness out of you and make you beautiful." FML
Today, i told my boyfriend that I wasn't feeling emotionally well, and wanted cuddles. He proceeded to hump my leg. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I was laying in bed with my boyfriend. He started caressing me, his eyes were closed, and he said, “I love touching your boobs.” Which was actually a roll of fat on my stomach. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend why we never have sex anymore. He said, "Honestly, you lie there with your arms balled up against your chest, you don't moan or give any indication that you're enjoying things. It makes me really uncomfortable." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. His response? "Is that why you have been so clingy and annoying lately?" FML
Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
silly_kitten 9
That's when you say "Less humpin' more dumpin'."
zebraface 15
Ditch his ass
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (198)
jewelsfml 0
if it happens everytime why is your dumbass still with him. come on!!
thebamdino 0
What a douche bag. I love my girlfriend. We've been together for 3 years. I tell her everyday I love you & she tells me the same.
no1xaskedxy0u 5
Sooo.. why are you still with him? Maybe you need a re-evaluation of your life.
MrsSmith43231 1
And youre still with him.... because?
blondiechic004 0
so wait did you tell him this while you were having sex??
mrkieger 0
honestly, you need to dump him because a relationship with sex itsnt even a relationship.
gdoggy77 4
It seems to be working if he's still using that line..
LissaMccracken 23
You deserve it. Why? You said it happens every time, meaning its happened before. You can let yourself be treated like shit, or you can deal with it. Dont bitch if you let it happen.
KC731 3
why the hell do girls stay with ass holes like that. dump him
secretlady99 6
every time? girl ditch him! you deserve someone who will actually appreciate you