Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, telling him how much I loved him. His answer? "Less lovin' more humpin'." This happens every single time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he started humping my leg and said, "I'm gonna hump the fatness out of you and make you beautiful." FML
Today, i told my boyfriend that I wasn't feeling emotionally well, and wanted cuddles. He proceeded to hump my leg. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I was laying in bed with my boyfriend. He started caressing me, his eyes were closed, and he said, “I love touching your boobs.” Which was actually a roll of fat on my stomach. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend why we never have sex anymore. He said, "Honestly, you lie there with your arms balled up against your chest, you don't moan or give any indication that you're enjoying things. It makes me really uncomfortable." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. His response? "Is that why you have been so clingy and annoying lately?" FML
Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
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Top comments
silly_kitten 9
That's when you say "Less humpin' more dumpin'."
zebraface 15
Ditch his ass
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Comments (198)
evilangel1220 0
Please tell me he's an ex now!!!
alexdeka 1
What a dick
randomemoperson 0
Wow... He's a keeper!
wasdadeal 0
Haha instant classic
Carian01 0
YDI for not breaking up with him the first time he said it.
UsagiArwen 23
I'm torn between votes on this one. Totally FYL that he's actually got the audacity to say that to you and treat you like you're only worth loveless sex, but even more so I gotta say that YDI for sticking around with the jerk. Why are you with this guy if he only treats you like a cut of meat and shushes you when you try to get intimate in your own way?
surfingirl 0
this should make u happy
Pixxiedust 0
Ur own fault 4 stain' and lettin' it happen every time ;) he sure isn't worth love
Alice_laughed 13
Well, if this had been the first time, I might have said FYL. However, since it happens every time, I'm gonna say YDI for sticking around.
tifamber47 0
Lmao. That's funny. Idec.