Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, telling him how much I loved him. His answer? "Less lovin' more humpin'." This happens every single time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he started humping my leg and said, "I'm gonna hump the fatness out of you and make you beautiful." FML
Today, i told my boyfriend that I wasn't feeling emotionally well, and wanted cuddles. He proceeded to hump my leg. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I was laying in bed with my boyfriend. He started caressing me, his eyes were closed, and he said, “I love touching your boobs.” Which was actually a roll of fat on my stomach. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend why we never have sex anymore. He said, "Honestly, you lie there with your arms balled up against your chest, you don't moan or give any indication that you're enjoying things. It makes me really uncomfortable." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. His response? "Is that why you have been so clingy and annoying lately?" FML
Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
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Top comments
silly_kitten 9
That's when you say "Less humpin' more dumpin'."
zebraface 15
Ditch his ass
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Comments (198)
FML_Elle 17
You don't have to stay with him... You should've dumped him the moment you said you loved him and he responded in that way. You choose to be with him. Dump him or deal with it and stop complaining
crimson90 2
Actions speak louder than words.
LyddieW98 6
Break up with that pig....
silvercharmer25 7
Why are you with him? He sounds like he's only with you until something better comes along.
JNOV 8
The reason assholes like him continue to get lucky is because naive girls like you think you can change him. He's never going to learn to love you, but he'll keep "humping" you until someone better looking comes along.
LyricaSilvan 30
I feel bad for you, but only a tiny bit. Because let's face it, you've done this to yourself. If this, as you put it, "happens every time," you should know better by now. You chose to stay with someone whom you know is going to respond that way, so you hardly have a right to complain about it.