Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, telling him how much I loved him. His answer? "Less lovin' more humpin'." This happens every single time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he started humping my leg and said, "I'm gonna hump the fatness out of you and make you beautiful." FML
Today, i told my boyfriend that I wasn't feeling emotionally well, and wanted cuddles. He proceeded to hump my leg. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I was laying in bed with my boyfriend. He started caressing me, his eyes were closed, and he said, “I love touching your boobs.” Which was actually a roll of fat on my stomach. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend why we never have sex anymore. He said, "Honestly, you lie there with your arms balled up against your chest, you don't moan or give any indication that you're enjoying things. It makes me really uncomfortable." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. His response? "Is that why you have been so clingy and annoying lately?" FML
Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
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Top comments
silly_kitten 9
That's when you say "Less humpin' more dumpin'."
zebraface 15
Ditch his ass
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Comments (198)
ZaxL 0
look at the OPs name o.O
lulzmylife 4
Why the hell haven't you dumped him yet? If you want a man that likes you for something other than sex, you'll have to get rid of this one first.
The__Redneck 7
You deserve it. You didn't the first time it happened--but then you put up with it, and every time since then engenders no sympathy at all.
Nuahavizu 17
You know, i know a ton of really nice guys that wouldnt say anything dickish like that to you. but alas, if they are nice, you females wouldn't give them a second glance. YDI for dating a douchebag and expect him to be anything but a sex craved egomaniac.
badactor009 0
He does not love you. He loves the humping. If he can't use you or some other bimbo, he would just wack off and go back to his xbox. Got it?
Milky54321 0
Did u ever consider hes shy i mean i used to find it wierd when my gf said she loved me and when i said it back it was quite (i do love her) talk to him about what he actually wants if its just sex dump him
twilgirl 1
What an ass dump him
rockmehard 4
Dump him. He must not love you that much, if at all, if he says that every single time and can't tell you that he loves you. Ugh, men like that disgust me.
UhLeeUh 6
well you must not mind it then sense your still with him "every single time" :p
Mz_Kane 0
If that's happens every time, maybe you should leave him cuz he's only in it for the sex! Just a wild thought! *sarcastically*