Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, telling him how much I loved him. His answer? "Less lovin' more humpin'." This happens every single time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he started humping my leg and said, "I'm gonna hump the fatness out of you and make you beautiful." FML
Today, i told my boyfriend that I wasn't feeling emotionally well, and wanted cuddles. He proceeded to hump my leg. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I was laying in bed with my boyfriend. He started caressing me, his eyes were closed, and he said, “I love touching your boobs.” Which was actually a roll of fat on my stomach. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend why we never have sex anymore. He said, "Honestly, you lie there with your arms balled up against your chest, you don't moan or give any indication that you're enjoying things. It makes me really uncomfortable." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. His response? "Is that why you have been so clingy and annoying lately?" FML
Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
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Top comments
silly_kitten 9
That's when you say "Less humpin' more dumpin'."
zebraface 15
Ditch his ass
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Comments (198)
12vballchick12 5
well sry bout that.
Gourmet_Taco 0
Next time don't say anything. He'll reply with "Aren't you gonna say how much you love me?"
gunmania0 12
I've gotta use this with my Girlfriend. What a genius.
L3Paparazzo 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
everyones definition of love is different , guys def of love is sex !
gunmania0 12
27 - guys only use you for sex because you're easy.
Damn_Hippster 11
27 truer words have never been spoken
hemz_fml 13
He loves you enough to go down on you.
SesameSpeed 7
You don't deserve that! Find a dude that can actually say "I love you" back.
Friaza 29
You should feel grateful he let you out of the kitchen! (Just kidding, dump him.)
Iamnotmyself 17
I think he wants you to bend over, he isn't paying you with expensive jewelry for "love" that's for sure
leftyy 0
"love is for girls and gays. if youre with me it goes one of two ways. either you sex with me... or you have sex with me." -e=mc ******
bullrider92 19
Who said he goes down on her?
jake1632 9
And after that.. Less fxckin, more suckin. After that, humming and cumming, which do you prefer more of?
tecktonik123 0
I hear you(: and I agree with you TOTALLY
nicko_oz 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
#58 oh shut up and stop being such a preacher. He will say it back when he is ready to say it back if he ever is. People should not feel pressured into saying it you have no idea how long they have been together if its only been a few months why should he feel the need he may not be sure if he does. Its better not to say it if your not sure than get some bitches hopes up. You girls annoy me with the need to hear those words before they are ready to. just like girls with the need to pressure their boyfriends into marriage or the need to have kids at a young age and the guy isn't ready. Its not all based on YOU a relationship goes 2 bloody ways
gogreen8856 0
dump him bc he's only with you for the sex
no1xaskedxy0u 5
He doesn't have to be ready, but he should have to respect her. If my boyfriend didn't want to say "I love you" or didn't want to get married, I'd be cool with that, but there is no way in hell a comment like that would fly with me.
zebraface 15
Ditch his ass
JodeMiVida 13
^This.
NomOnShroomz 14
*dump
LiveLaughFML 10
*dump on
ejdelacruz 3
That's a little harsh
EvilPotato 15
you better start listing.
Johnny2by4 0
deal with it
JTHolloway200 0
how could she possibly have deserved it
RooBooBear 0
Amen sister
THEsuperMANLYman 10
Thats a bit extreme, dont you think?
TheChowski 2
I mean at least you know what he wants?
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
And yet you keep doing that? He'll learn eventually, right ;D
sammie91michelle 0
More like he just wants her to stfu n *** him that's all he wants
sammie91michelle 0
More like he just wants her to stfu n *** him that's all he wants
Molkerei 0
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing multiple times and expecting different results. Basically your insane women.
cblt2007 0
I think she'll learn before he does. she should just stick to humpin n cookin. the relationship would probably go better :D
lolasains 7
Well it's better than making sammichs..
ThreeSheetsGone 12
Blasphemy! Everybody knows that behind every great man, there is a woman who makes great sammiches.
MrleClochard 4
And below every great man, there is a woman getting humped.
NomOnShroomz 14
You heard the man!
silly_kitten 9
That's when you say "Less humpin' more dumpin'."
B3ttyBlu3 0
Hell to the Yeah! But in all seriousness, he doesn't seem to take things seriously. Maybe it's time to have a talk or move on.
iapplejuice 2
lmfao this was a good as one
eyorsdocjr 0
Omg I've never actually laughed out load because of a comment!!!! Dude. that is an EPIC burn!!!
wseeper13 0
Realize that doesn't sound much better?
BubblyNinja13 0
Man I was gonna comment that!(:
DarkFirefly206 9
...Just gonna say...your cat looks exactly like mine. Exactly. O___o
Dodge4x4Ram 46
haha that was rich
smhlqnick 0
Maybe you two are just at different stages and he isn't comfortable with all the love talk. Might not be a bad idea to start looking at other options? Or he's joking?
rattusrattus 19
If he's joking, he should retract it and say, "I do love you really" after.
usnwife 18
I can see joking once, but "every single time" isn't a joke - move on op!!!
PDSot 21
he still might not be comfortable with her saying it even if he says the same thing every time it does seem like he only wants sex tho like he's selfish and only cares about himself in the relationship
Blueglasscup 18
Hump his face!
Simpson143 2
But he might enjoy it...
hoodasswhitekid 0
I would.
ThreeSheetsGone 12
If it happens every single time, you should probably stop giving in. Just a thought, though.