Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
Today, I discovered that my 15 year old girl had hidden a disgusting porn film in the "future career" folder. FML
Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in tenth grade. She then told me that I wrote about things she'd never even thought about, and she's been having sex for years. If that wasn't bad enough, she's taken them in to work to show people. FML
Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend still writes Twilight fan fiction. FML
Today, I found my daughter's fanfiction account. I need a new pair of eyes, or brain bleach, or both. FML
Today, I came home and caught my husband in a compromising position. He was watching Twilight. FML
Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML
Today, I attempted to snoop around my daughter’s room, because I suspect her of having sex with her boyfriend behind my back. Hoping to find the evidence, I went to her room as soon as she left for school. Turns out she rigged her bedroom door. With glitter. Uh oh. FML
Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
limeyemilyy 0
Rewrite some of it to freak her out
zcheema17 0
Lol! Don't go snoop around her stuff! But that is weird...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (480)
BabyMama121307 0
Lol wow
Beelzebub259 7
I hate twilight (and its fans) but wtf is wrong with you? Respect your daughter's privacy, you ******* nobend. You brought this on yourself and you should be ashamed. She is the one who shouldn't be able to look you in the eye. Being related to someone like you is something to be ashamed of you ******* shit parent
emilyta_fml 0
You're a bitch, you shouldnt have been snooping anyways. I write stories not about twilight mind you, but be happy she is expressing herself and can write period.
samiisSatan 0
well she's 16. it's not wonderful but be greatful she can never actually get her hands on those two and move on.
Sailor_Stars 1
She's not a freak but a fangirl!! Get the difference?!?! I hate it when people compare us!! Ever seen a REAL freak?! No? I didn't think so!
blushy 14
curiosity killed the cat
HAS95 0
Fyl but you deserve it for snooping...
lovelessgirl 7
I'm sorry, but your daughter needs to be sent to a mental hospital. Vampires do not sparkle, and anyone who thinks they do needs serious help. That series was poorly written by a woman who does not understand the basics about vampires.
ley290 0
Im siding with the daughter because Edward and Jacob FROM THE BOOKS are wildly sexy
loopy_lottie 7
Wow... That's a bit grim :S I agree, your life sucks! Kind of like 'Twilight' really...