Today, my brother and I were shoveling mulch. He pushed me in and then ran away, laughing hysterically. I was stuck in the mulch, and no one would help. I was literally in deep shit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, for the second time in my life, I fell and got stuck between my wall and my bed wrapped in a blanket, mad. Instead of helping me, my brother just took videos. FML
Today, I was run over by my own car as I tried to push it out of a snowbank. FML
Today, I got stuck in the drier. My step-brother came to help out. His pullout game is weak. He literally could not pull me out of the drier and had to call a handyman. FML
Today, my brother ran in, handed me a spatula, and told me to stand still. Barely a second later, our sister came tearing in the house with a fresh, raised welt on her ass cheek in the shape of said spatula, saw me holding said spatula, and kicked my ass up and down the house until I escaped. FML
Today, I fell in a hole in my back yard and got stuck. My mother called the fire department. They all stood around laughing and taking pictures before they helped me. FML
Today, my brother flicked a huge bug onto my foot, making me freak out and fall into my outdoors pool. The water was so cold that I started hyperventilating. My brother left to "get help". I finally managed to get out, and found him watching TV. FML
Today, I got stuck in the snow in the middle of street. As I was just beginning to get myself unstuck, the snow plow came by and buried the front end of my car. FML
Today, while driving with my family, the car got stuck in a large patch of mud. My family of seven decided that I, the fifteen year old girl, would be best suited to push it out. After slipping, falling, and getting completely covered in mud, they finally called a tow truck. FML
Today, I went to the cemetery to visit a friend. As I was looking for his burial plot, I fell into a dug out grave and had to call my partner to come help me get out. FML
Today, my brother asked his wife for a divorce, but she got so mad at him that he backtracked and told her it was a prank I'd put him up to. She’s still mad as hell at him, but thanks to his lie my name is now mud in our entire family. I was at work all day, and I did nothing wrong. FML
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Top comments
barlessprison 16
I hope the first thing you did once you got out was to give your brother a huge bear hug.
iPeterPan 8
Shit, that's horrible. I hope you slept in his bed when you got home, before your shower!
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Comments (123)
funky103 5
hahaha sucks
siickman 7
No shit sherlock.
hahayourmom101 5
Does OP mean manure? mulch is made of wood chips..
barlessprison 16
I hope the first thing you did once you got out was to give your brother a huge bear hug.
SoMuchSnailGame 3
Oh no you were in a pile of dirt! Your life is defintely ******
ihasbrains 10
I hope the first thing the moderators do is fix his tense errors ;_;
evig_fml 16
The first thing I would have done was *enter extremely inappropriate and vulgar statement describing what I would have done* and then I would have sat down with a smile on my face and a sandwich in my hand :) (I feel like my comment is irrelevant, but what do I care it's 1 AM where I live and I'm tired so judge me as harshly as you please)
ClassyCommando 13
Well, 2, there's not mulch else OP can do with a situation like that, so why not give it a try...
Osito2011 9
I always thought mulch was wood chips mixed with soil and fertilizer was shit.
norotors 16
Since when is mulch made of shit?
RacerX1695 1
Eve notice how this is the first comment but was given the number 2? Just sayin'…
fymother 13
Mulch = usually some form of wood chips in various states of decay Manure = literal shit OP, did you mean manure?
2stroke 2
Not always there's cow manure in it to a lot to
ClassyCommando 13
I *sniff*, I was kinda hoping that more people would like my pun :(
demo3000 0
******* shut up
THE_A_TEEN 28
^**** you, Man.
iPeterPan 8
You made me lol, you punny guy.
eatpussy 0
What a shitty situation
iloveursister 4
yea...you're funny
decko44 7
Ahhh... Bad puns you have to love to hate them
littlemsweirdo 12
Shittiest overused pun EVER.
skitzofunia88 8
I'm tired of people giving a thumbs down when someone uses this pun. It's relevant to the situation and is kinda humorous, someone is bound to say it. The only reason people don't like it is because it's been said a thousand times. Instead of giving a thumbs down or up, why don't you just not vote on it instead? Give the person a zero. Because that's what they deserve.
Chazyj 4
Shitty pun
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
The only funny thing about this pun is the fact that it's always hilariously buried within seconds of appearing.
iPeterPan 8
Shit, that's horrible. I hope you slept in his bed when you got home, before your shower!
yankfan89 27
Or covered the brother's bed in mulch as pay back.
mystashisgone 6
Would be better to fill his car with it.... Oh what a surprise that would await him
missalkali 8
9- that's pretty much the idea...
iheartstewie7 5
That's when you hit him in the head with your shovel.
LupeTabasco 5
That's when you shit in his pillow.
richy90255 8
^^Like your picture^^
Blueglasscup 18
I would have gotten back at him by flinging the mulch on your body all over his stuff.
tacojauns 45
isn't mulch wood chips and manure is shit?
coried91 28
Well, when you eventually get up shovel up some of the shit and chuck it at him to see if he likes it.
octopussperm125 18
Shit happens
SkyBirdy 5
Love your picture
lil_ham1644 29
There is a difference between mulch & manure. I've worked at a greenhouse/farm for like 4 years. Mulch is usually like wood chips of different kinds of wood. Manure is self explanatory.
lolfood 24
That sounds like a shi-- * shot in face*
lolfood 24
Agh, why did you double post?
lolfood 24
That sounds like a shi-- * shot in face*
LunaDragon 10
^*then places corpse in wood chipper and mixes with mulch* ahh the circle of life :p