Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
Today, I discovered that my 15 year old girl had hidden a disgusting porn film in the "future career" folder. FML
Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in tenth grade. She then told me that I wrote about things she'd never even thought about, and she's been having sex for years. If that wasn't bad enough, she's taken them in to work to show people. FML
Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend still writes Twilight fan fiction. FML
Today, I found my daughter's fanfiction account. I need a new pair of eyes, or brain bleach, or both. FML
Today, I came home and caught my husband in a compromising position. He was watching Twilight. FML
Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML
Today, I attempted to snoop around my daughter’s room, because I suspect her of having sex with her boyfriend behind my back. Hoping to find the evidence, I went to her room as soon as she left for school. Turns out she rigged her bedroom door. With glitter. Uh oh. FML
Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML
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Top comments
limeyemilyy 0
Rewrite some of it to freak her out
zcheema17 0
Lol! Don't go snoop around her stuff! But that is weird...
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Comments (480)
ProjectMoth 2
Yeah, and you've never watched a ****. Freak. At least she writes about it and is creative.
TheLadyOpal 30
I can't believe you have the audacity to call your own daughter a freak for writing what YOU found while snooping in HER computer. **** her life, she doesn't deserve you.
Levee44 9
I hope this is not true. If it is, **** her life for having such a father! OMG, poor girl.
finklefck 5
you're a dick father for calling your daughter a freak...think about the bullshit you did when you were her age...how many socks did you jerk it into?
AuricBeast 8
This is why you don't snoop
Lucky7Samson 10
I think I'd kill my kid. Just .45 to the dome piece.
AlliFaye17 3
*shudders* ew. Just ew...
Sarahenglerxo 2
you're an asshole for calling your daughter a freak. She's your daughter. You should accept her no matter what weird things she may do.
avifors 10
Snooping through your daughters room and calling her a freak on the Internet. Sounds like good parenting.
LissaMccracken 23
You make me sick...