Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
Today, I discovered that my 15 year old girl had hidden a disgusting porn film in the "future career" folder. FML
Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in tenth grade. She then told me that I wrote about things she'd never even thought about, and she's been having sex for years. If that wasn't bad enough, she's taken them in to work to show people. FML
Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend still writes Twilight fan fiction. FML
Today, I found my daughter's fanfiction account. I need a new pair of eyes, or brain bleach, or both. FML
Today, I came home and caught my husband in a compromising position. He was watching Twilight. FML
Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML
Today, I attempted to snoop around my daughter’s room, because I suspect her of having sex with her boyfriend behind my back. Hoping to find the evidence, I went to her room as soon as she left for school. Turns out she rigged her bedroom door. With glitter. Uh oh. FML
Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML
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Top comments
limeyemilyy 0
Rewrite some of it to freak her out
zcheema17 0
Lol! Don't go snoop around her stuff! But that is weird...
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Comments (480)
xgetxbentx 13
Ydix2 Once for snooping Twice for reading it, who's the freak?
The_Great_Zucchi 15
I don't see your point. Even it is just about the character (it doesn't say that in the FML), it is still quite wrong to call your kid a freak for having a fantasy.
paprikacha 9
At least you didn't find her ***** collection shaped like Jacob and Edward's heads. That would be a far more disturbing prospect than a self-insertion lemon. Seriously, though - everyone has to have something to whack off to, because it's human nature. Some people whack off to tranny ****, some whack off to pictures of kickass gaming rigs (drool). Your daughter gets off on codependent werewolves and manic depressive sparkly vampires. ::shrug::
DriftingTaco 0
uhhh... don't snoop around your daughter's shit, lady.. Damn, YDI
sweetalicious 1
f her life for having a parent like you. that should teach you not to snoop!
drspock95 4
thats cold blooded, calling your own kid a freak :o
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
No, hitting her would be cold-blooded. Seriously, did everyone here have fakey tv sitcom parents?
ironman108 0
Oh get over it!!!! Your daughter is 1 of how many million girls fantasizing about Edward and Jacob! Be happy shes now fantasizing about Bella and Edwards sister! Haha!
zipster99 6
you're horrible :O 1) you shouldn't have been snooping in the first place 2) calling your own child a freak is disgusting and you should be ashamed. Maybe she's just interested in erotic literature? I had to read a book in my english class where there was a very graphic sex scene and we didn't call the author a freak.
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
The sex is not the point, it's the fact that it's Twilight fanfiction. No one said they had a problem with erotic fiction.
Complaining 13
I truly pity you. I'm sorry.
sciencekidster1 8
Oh no, I wrote that...I gave it to her...