Today, it's my birthday. My dad came to pick me up, but after I had put my backpack in the back seat and closed the car door, he drove off without me. It started to rain, and I was without my phone or wallet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my parents and I went to the movies for my mom's birthday. After the movie, my mom and dad got into a fight, and left me at the movies. My cell phone was dead, and my house was about 12 miles away. They finally came and picked me up, hours later. FML
Today, my friend and I were getting picked up by his dad after a carnival. As I put my stuff in the back of the car and shut the door to walk around to get in the other side, his dad drove off, thinking I was in the car, leaving me to walk up their hill. It was midnight and I ended up lost. FML
Today, I got into an accident. As I was talking to a police officer about what happened, the tow truck driver managed to take my car and drive away, leaving me with no phone or wallet. I just spent an hour walking home in a hail storm. FML
Today, I was leaving a cafe with some of my friends. I had to sit in the back of the car by myself. I opened the door when I saw an old woman needing help getting to her car because it was raining. I shut the door and went to help. My friends thought I had gotten in. I was left in the rain with no phone. FML
Today, due to bad weather, my dad let me take his car to drive to my apartment 3 hours away. I only realized when I got there that my keys were still sitting on my parents' kitchen counter. FML
Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML
Today, I was having my birthday party. My dad showed up late, blind drunk, and drove his car straight through my garage door. FML
Today, my dad came to pick me up. It would have been nicer if he'd had his clothes on. FML
Today, it's my birthday and my mom took me and some friends to an amusement park. Looking for a tampon, I found a phone in my mom's purse that I didn't recognize. Turns out my mom is cheating on my dad. Happy birthday to me, I guess. FML
Today, my father went missing. Naturally worried, we searched his workplace, hospitals, and other locations. Turns out he got arrested for driving around town drunk out of his mind. Oh, and it's my birthday. Thanks for throwing me a great (search) party, dad. FML
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Top comments
glenzhao2 16
Happy Birthday, you'll always be Daddy's little girl
Midrash 5
Wow.. Father of the year.
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Comments (89)
fijianchick 0
:( that's sucks hope you had a nice bday afterwards
glenzhao2 16
Happy Birthday, you'll always be Daddy's little girl
Keyman1212 14
Happy birthday OP! Your FML family loves you (:
SilentTreatment 7
I think is why they created rear view mirrors. Too bad he failed to use it. Happy B-Day OP!
dre_bro11 12
31, really? Rear view mirrors are included to see when you've left your child/ren behind?
krazy_glu3 0
So did he not try talking to you in the car and then after realizing you we're responding, that you weren't even in the car?
leadman1989 16
-_- No, but it was meant for seeing things in the rear of you in general. Unless he was driving in reverse (which would add a whole other layer of fail) that would be ops general position. Sorry I'm a little anal.
krazy_glu3 0
Meant weren't*** fml -.-
DeathMaple 3
Omg we have the same birthday! Happy belated birthday op =]
fijianchick 0
:( that's sucks hope you had a nice bday afterwards
rainbowfailure 2
Why did you close the door before you got into the car?
Pam94 3
she closed the back door after putting her bag in, so presumably she wanted to sit in the front
BVBxXxARMY 5
What do you need your wallet for? Making a boat out of money?
JazzHandsFML 28
getting home by public transportation...
fijianchick 0
Why do I have 2 of the same comments?
jswizzle_ 6
What an ass.
Midrash 5
Wow.. Father of the year.
StoryOfTheYear 15
No, it's a ^^^
YayFlameWarz 9
When she calls him on it he'll just point to his "#1 Dad" Coffee mug she cheaped out on for fathers day.
LifeOnBlast19 9
Lonely...I am so lonely....I have nobody.... Shit, I mean, happy birthday!
texanengineer 4
You mean 'I'm so ronery' lol?
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
I dun get it. :s
shroomboy 4
Just search "I'm so ronery" on youtube it's pretty funny.
liftedyoda 5
Haha
THE_A_TEEN 28
Not funny dude, especially if it's someones birthday.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Because I came on this site to pity other people.
je_suis_fml 11
Oh but it was very funny. Rest assured after driving a few blocks and singing happy bday to an empty backseat and not getting a response, 'home alone' dad did a u-turn and picked OP back up..
THE_A_TEEN 28
SOTY this is sort of my argument with this guy, not you dude.
GlitteryMasakali 1
Why'd you close the car door while outside. Could not you get inside and place your backpack next to you? YDI
teresa96706 29
Exactly what I was thinking
MeRcixXxTRiPp 0
Because she called SHOT GUN!!!!
alexy0806 3
she wanted to sit at the front
pixelebrate 0
I put my bag in the back seat, shut the door and move to the front seat. What's yo' problem?
THE_A_TEEN 28
#39 apperantly, he wanted to feel important to give out an unessessary ydi, plus, the poor troll has to sit in the backseat. Serioulsy dude, what country are you from? If you say that, then you're some 10 year old trolling on fml.
alakomonus 0
I get in the front seat with it and throw it back
enonymous 9
Stick your leg out. You'll probably get tons of Macedonian people pulling over.
simpleplan239999 1
You have a problem with Macedonian people?