Today, I was having dinner at a long-time friend's place. In a matter of 15 minutes, her mom had managed to establish unequivocally that three kinds of people were ruining the world: vegetarians, atheists, and homosexuals. I'm all three rolled into one. She knows that. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while having dinner with my girlfriend's very religious parents, her mother called me a heathen and said she'd convert me one day. She wasn't kidding. FML
Today, my morbidly obese mother gave me an angry lecture at dinner, saying without any trace of irony that my vegetarian diet is "unhealthy and utterly unacceptable". FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house for dinner with his family. His mom cooked up a steak dinner, except that I'm a vegan, but trying to be a good girlfriend, I forced it down. Upon his mother finding out I was a vegan, she called me "disloyal to my beliefs." FML
Today, I found out that my mother has been telling everybody that I’m a lesbian, because both of her best friends have at least one gay child each, and she was feeling left out. This explains why people have been treating me differently the last few weeks. FML
Today, my daughter came home from school crying hysterically. Apparently, her teacher is a vegan douchebag who told the whole class, "If your family eats meat, they're eating your future!" Now she screams when we eat meat. FML
Today, I realized I've become a stereotypical militant vegan when I told a friend that we should start raising Lone Star ticks and dropping them around town so we could spread meat allergies and force people to eat vegan. FML
Today, I had a friend tell me all about how being a vegan was so great. They were eating eggs. FML
Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML
Today, I made the mistake of telling my militant vegan coworker I have fond memories of hunting with my dad, which set her off like a tofu-powered grenade. If she doesn’t stop treating me like the devil, making snide comments, and other shit, I may have to go to HR about her. FML
Today, my roommate raged at me for "lying" about being a vegetarian, because she saw chicken stored in my side of the fridge. That chicken isn't for me, it's an ingredient in the homemade food I make for my dogs. Apparently, serving my dogs real meat instead of forcing them into vegetarianism makes me a hypocrite. FML
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Top comments
Queensland 27
Get back at her by eating her garden, taking down all pictures of Jesus and hitting on all of her daughters.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
You should tell her that ignorant bitches will go down first when you take over the world, so she better watch out
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Comments (59)
subiedude08 17
Wow that's just rude Ignorant!
Uramonkey 11
Maybe she wants to watch the world burn? In that case she loves you OP!
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
You should tell her that ignorant bitches will go down first when you take over the world, so she better watch out
Ctrl_H 18
They already did take over the world, ******* controlling rainbows and shit.
Queensland 27
Get back at her by eating her garden, taking down all pictures of Jesus and hitting on all of her daughters.
jjessen 20
Or in this case, hitting on her sons
Queensland 27
OP's a girl :)
KingCeltic77 18
Girls can be homosexuals too you know.
Mirorbo 27
Gotta love the folks who go far out of their way to be a passive aggressive bully to someone in such a nonchalant way so they can get away with it by 'just saying'.
subiedude08 17
Please explain how
Irchell 17
Just ask your friend to continue the meet-up elsewhere in less small minded company.
KatStyles 10
Just ask you're friend "do you mind if we continue this where bitches don't rot?" In a very sweet voice.
CoGhostRider 31
Well then statistically you do more damage than if you were just one of the three. In whatever you do do it well lol
brittyboo123 35
Wow, I'm sorry OP. You'd think people had more respect now a days.
Dinonick 15
Im only the middle one but have nothing against the other two......target acquired.
VeganVampyre 27
I'm two out of three and have nothing against the third... Need a hand? :P