Today, I was having dinner at a long-time friend's place. In a matter of 15 minutes, her mom had managed to establish unequivocally that three kinds of people were ruining the world: vegetarians, atheists, and homosexuals. I'm all three rolled into one. She knows that. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while having dinner with my girlfriend's very religious parents, her mother called me a heathen and said she'd convert me one day. She wasn't kidding. FML
Today, my morbidly obese mother gave me an angry lecture at dinner, saying without any trace of irony that my vegetarian diet is "unhealthy and utterly unacceptable". FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house for dinner with his family. His mom cooked up a steak dinner, except that I'm a vegan, but trying to be a good girlfriend, I forced it down. Upon his mother finding out I was a vegan, she called me "disloyal to my beliefs." FML
Today, I found out that my mother has been telling everybody that I’m a lesbian, because both of her best friends have at least one gay child each, and she was feeling left out. This explains why people have been treating me differently the last few weeks. FML
Today, my daughter came home from school crying hysterically. Apparently, her teacher is a vegan douchebag who told the whole class, "If your family eats meat, they're eating your future!" Now she screams when we eat meat. FML
Today, I realized I've become a stereotypical militant vegan when I told a friend that we should start raising Lone Star ticks and dropping them around town so we could spread meat allergies and force people to eat vegan. FML
Today, I had a friend tell me all about how being a vegan was so great. They were eating eggs. FML
Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML
Today, I made the mistake of telling my militant vegan coworker I have fond memories of hunting with my dad, which set her off like a tofu-powered grenade. If she doesn’t stop treating me like the devil, making snide comments, and other shit, I may have to go to HR about her. FML
Today, my roommate raged at me for "lying" about being a vegetarian, because she saw chicken stored in my side of the fridge. That chicken isn't for me, it's an ingredient in the homemade food I make for my dogs. Apparently, serving my dogs real meat instead of forcing them into vegetarianism makes me a hypocrite. FML
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Top comments
Queensland 27
Get back at her by eating her garden, taking down all pictures of Jesus and hitting on all of her daughters.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
You should tell her that ignorant bitches will go down first when you take over the world, so she better watch out
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Comments (59)
Zimmington 21
The only thing "wrong" with all 3 is what they do in the privacy of their homes or maybe the occasional restaurant. All of which is no ones business but their own.
CharresBarkrey 16
Nowhere did 22 say that atheists invented the computer. You should probably read comments more carefully before attempting to prove them wrong. Anyway. I don't really see how vegetarians are viewed as healthier than non vegetarians. A strict no meat diet is usually low in protein, which is pretty important. And meat isn't "unhealthy."
SuperDanielNL 23
It only your friends mom, no big deal it seems, you choose your friends for what they are not for their parents. Rock on, OP!
VeganVampyre 27
It can be hard when a friend's parents don't like you or don't approve of you. My best friend's mom hates me because she's decided that I'm a devil worshipper and a horrible influence on her angel of a daughter. She constantly makes subtle but nasty remarks about me every time I'm there and it's really annoying. Made it hard to spend time with my friend when we were younger, which sucked.
VeganVampyre 27
Actually, 27, you're wrong on all counts. 22 did in fact say that atheists have contributed vast amounts to science, including the computer. A strict no meat diet, when done properly, is not at all low in protein and is in fact quite healthy. The average meat eater actually eats way too much protein, which can be just as bad as not eating enough. And while (some, but certainly not all) meat in and of itself may not be unhealthy, the chemicals and hormones that are regularly pumped into commercial meat is very unhealthy, and the commercial meat industry is incredibly bad for the environment, the economy, and resources like land, crops and water. You should probably do some research on vegetarianism and the meat industry before you make any more comments on it.
beclaurela 18
Actually, you're incorrect about the protein thing. Meat has very little protein when compared to many many vegetables. I'm not a vegetarian, I only know this because I was reading about it.
nelyra 5
You must be the supreme overlord of evil!
VeganVampyre 27
I can't believe there haven't been any huge arguments yet. These are the main things that usually spark huge debates and get the comments closed, and so far, nothing. To the OP- depending on how polite you feel the need to be, you can either say nothing but never go back to that awful woman's house, or you can tell her she's a small minded judgmental bitch and walk out. Either way, she IS a small minded judgmental bitch and you shouldn't have to put up with such a nasty attack to your character and beliefs. Also, as someone who qualifies in two and a half of the categories, I would love to know how she managed to blame everything on three small groups of people.
patrickalamo 48
Enjoy, how does all that power feel? Let her know your next plan is to change the educational system.
chris4u2nv5 19
Wow.........sucks to be you!!!!
simsgirlgem 25
Is the womans name Shirley Phelps?