Today, I made the mistake of telling my militant vegan coworker I have fond memories of hunting with my dad, which set her off like a tofu-powered grenade. If she doesn’t stop treating me like the devil, making snide comments, and other shit, I may have to go to HR about her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized I've become a stereotypical militant vegan when I told a friend that we should start raising Lone Star ticks and dropping them around town so we could spread meat allergies and force people to eat vegan. FML
Today, my daughter came home from school crying hysterically. Apparently, her teacher is a vegan douchebag who told the whole class, "If your family eats meat, they're eating your future!" Now she screams when we eat meat. FML
Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML
Today, my boss was hosting some client representatives for a meeting and had offered to buy everyone lunch. The "healthy" place he's ordering from made me sick last time, so I'd politely opted out. At lunch, the reps glared at me in the meeting room as I ate my homemade chili con carne. Turns out they're all vegans. FML
Today, my vegan step-mom found out I ate at McDonald's yesterday. She gave me hell and asked me how it feels to give money to "murderers". All while my dad sat quietly by because he's too whipped to speak his mind. It wasn't even her house a month ago. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, my sister is furious with me and said i will never see my nieces again. Last weekend, while I babysat for her, I taught them the meaning of veganism and animal rights, even showing them a few videos about the meat and dairy industry, and how the animals are kept and treated. Now she won’t speak to me. FML
Today, my daughter said she wanted to be vegetarian like me. Beaming with pride, I made her plant-based burgers for dinner. She took one bite, screamed, "EW!" and started crying and begging for beef burgers. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house for dinner with his family. His mom cooked up a steak dinner, except that I'm a vegan, but trying to be a good girlfriend, I forced it down. Upon his mother finding out I was a vegan, she called me "disloyal to my beliefs." FML
Today, I was reduced to tears and called a "useless fat bitch" by a customer I was serving. She didn’t realize that the steak fajitas she’d ordered had steak in them. She said she was a vegetarian. She failed to mention it, but apparently it was "my fault" because I “should have known." FML
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Top comments
Anderling 33
Go to HR anyway before she can spin the story. She is creating a hostile work environment. If she can’t recognize that other people will have different moral frameworks then she needs to go apply for a job with a vegan company instead of a general one.
Ubehage 32
It's not something you may have to, if she goes on. You do have to, now!
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Comments (7)
Anderling 33
Go to HR anyway before she can spin the story. She is creating a hostile work environment. If she can’t recognize that other people will have different moral frameworks then she needs to go apply for a job with a vegan company instead of a general one.
FluffythePink 23
Video or audio record her harassment and go straight to HR. Don't muck about wondering whether you should because you should. End of. Attacking someone for any difference of belief or lifestyle is, technically, a hate crime. Report her smelly arse asap.
Ubehage 32
It's not something you may have to, if she goes on. You do have to, now!
Yudith 28
I'm sure HR will be very interested in your "tofu-powered grenade". Maybe they will build one of their own for your coworker.
RichardPencil 32
You should definitely go to HR, Hunting Rabbits! It's called HW when Elmer Fudd is the chief.
Iamthebanzai22 21
If she doesn't stop, hang a hunting trophy above your desk.
lgrave 8
If possible record your conversations. Then go to HR
bidet 10
Maybe you should have given her ... wait for it ... a trigger warning.