Today, I was having dinner at a long-time friend's place. In a matter of 15 minutes, her mom had managed to establish unequivocally that three kinds of people were ruining the world: vegetarians, atheists, and homosexuals. I'm all three rolled into one. She knows that. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while having dinner with my girlfriend's very religious parents, her mother called me a heathen and said she'd convert me one day. She wasn't kidding. FML
Today, my morbidly obese mother gave me an angry lecture at dinner, saying without any trace of irony that my vegetarian diet is "unhealthy and utterly unacceptable". FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house for dinner with his family. His mom cooked up a steak dinner, except that I'm a vegan, but trying to be a good girlfriend, I forced it down. Upon his mother finding out I was a vegan, she called me "disloyal to my beliefs." FML
Today, I found out that my mother has been telling everybody that I’m a lesbian, because both of her best friends have at least one gay child each, and she was feeling left out. This explains why people have been treating me differently the last few weeks. FML
Today, my daughter came home from school crying hysterically. Apparently, her teacher is a vegan douchebag who told the whole class, "If your family eats meat, they're eating your future!" Now she screams when we eat meat. FML
Today, I realized I've become a stereotypical militant vegan when I told a friend that we should start raising Lone Star ticks and dropping them around town so we could spread meat allergies and force people to eat vegan. FML
Today, I had a friend tell me all about how being a vegan was so great. They were eating eggs. FML
Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML
Today, I made the mistake of telling my militant vegan coworker I have fond memories of hunting with my dad, which set her off like a tofu-powered grenade. If she doesn’t stop treating me like the devil, making snide comments, and other shit, I may have to go to HR about her. FML
Today, my roommate raged at me for "lying" about being a vegetarian, because she saw chicken stored in my side of the fridge. That chicken isn't for me, it's an ingredient in the homemade food I make for my dogs. Apparently, serving my dogs real meat instead of forcing them into vegetarianism makes me a hypocrite. FML
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Top comments
Queensland 27
Get back at her by eating her garden, taking down all pictures of Jesus and hitting on all of her daughters.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
You should tell her that ignorant bitches will go down first when you take over the world, so she better watch out
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Comments (59)
3mILY_maRy629 11
No one has the right to judge someone based on their beliefs, sexuality, or what they eat. It's rude people like that who are ruining the world. Not atheists, homosexuals, or vegetarians. The world would be a better place if people didn't constantly judge or discriminate one another.
catanita 18
People who think like her mom are ruining the world. Narrow minded. Ignoring her is the best response.
Devorak2686 9
So does that make you the anti Christ? Before I get down voted I'm joking.
kewpiesuicide 29
Well I guess I am also ruining the world threefold..
33Chilidog 6
YDI for being atheist and homosexual.
amy6703 6
No, she is very wrong there. The people who are ruining the world are people who spread hate, crime, and violence. It looks like she is at least one of those.
Mightytall 35
I agree with her on only one count. YDI for being ... vegetarian! How dare you eat all the wonderful green things that go into the animals we like to eat so much? On the other hand, atheists and homosexuals make the world a better place. Diversity rocks :-) But please leave some greens for my rabbits, cows, pigs, lambs and so on ;-) On another note ... don't eat soy and think its good for you. It's one of the most mercilessly monoculture pesticide overload grown garbage on the planet.
chocolatefrog28 29
Did you ask her when it would be your turn with the keys to the city? As a busy, godless slayer of vegetables and mutual lady-bit operators you need to schedule your month accordingly.
joyce71 5
you will always run into people like that people that like to who like to stir the pot don't worry about iwhat she thinks if your ok with yourself screw her
fuckhomovegans 5
yea she knows all this because you probably announce it every chance you get, go **** yourself, FYL for real