Today, I found out that my mother has been telling everybody that I’m a lesbian, because both of her best friends have at least one gay child each, and she was feeling left out. This explains why people have been treating me differently the last few weeks. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my parents have thought I'm lesbian for at least a year. I now understand why my dad has been trying to get me to "hang out" with his co-worker's daughter. FML
Today, I found out my mom thought I was a lesbian because I dated a girl in high school. I didn't date anyone in high school. Apparently, guys never asked me out because my best friend told everyone that I was her girlfriend. I had a two-year lesbian relationship that I never knew about. FML
Today, my mom called me into the living room to say that she had something important to tell me. She then explained how she and my dad had "talked things over" and wanted me to know that they accept me and love me no matter what. Apparently my mom thinks I'm lesbian. I'm not. FML
Today, I found out that my entire school differentiates me from another girl in my grade with the same name by saying, "No, she's the lesbian one." I'm straight. FML
Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML
Today, I found out everybody at work thinks I'm a lesbian because they thought my boyfriend was a girl. FML
Today, I told my mom I was with my female friend last night, because I wasn't ready to tell her about my new boyfriend. I didn't realize he gave me a hickey and now my whole family thinks I'm a lesbian. They won't stop making fun of me. FML
Today, I had to tell my ex-husband I’m a lesbian. I’m not, he just keeps trying to win me back, but it worked, he now thinks there’s no chance for us. Unfortunately, he mentioned it to my mom, who “always suspected” and is now obsessively trying to set me up with every lesbian she knows. FML
Today, I finally thought that my mother was okay with me being a lesbian. Then, over dinner, she turns to me and says, "So, do you still think you like girls, or are you going to start being normal again?" FML
Today, I came out as lesbian and introduced my new girlfriend to my family. My mom angrily told me that I should have waited until my grandparents had died before coming out, and that I was "extremely disrespectful" for making this announcement. I honestly thought everyone would be fine with it. FML
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Top comments
Jackey 29
I've had years of my mom telling people I'm straight... and that my husband is a college roommate who just won't go away... sometimes you just have to look your mum's friends in the eyes and say, "yeah, she's living in her own world... meet the guy I'm banging."
idrow 7
Your mother is a psychotic lemming who will use her daughter's sexuality to fit in with her friends. You should tell her that's ok, that you tell all your friends that she's transitioning and is just waiting on a penis donor.
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Comments (6)
RichardPencil 32
You mean girls are hitting on you and guys are trying to bring you back to our team?
Jackey 29
I've had years of my mom telling people I'm straight... and that my husband is a college roommate who just won't go away... sometimes you just have to look your mum's friends in the eyes and say, "yeah, she's living in her own world... meet the guy I'm banging."
GamerChickxoxo 16
Don't knock it til you try it.Time to give us girls a try ;)
idrow 7
Your mother is a psychotic lemming who will use her daughter's sexuality to fit in with her friends. You should tell her that's ok, that you tell all your friends that she's transitioning and is just waiting on a penis donor.
Sinshine 28
Penis... donor... what?
kdmittens 9
well if it makes you feel any better.... you live in the privileged side of the world.. embrace the open-mindedness you are surrounded with... homosexuality if highly frowned upon along with punishable by death in some parts of the world when you fall for a guy you can introduce him to all! :)