Today, I was having dinner at a long-time friend's place. In a matter of 15 minutes, her mom had managed to establish unequivocally that three kinds of people were ruining the world: vegetarians, atheists, and homosexuals. I'm all three rolled into one. She knows that. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while having dinner with my girlfriend's very religious parents, her mother called me a heathen and said she'd convert me one day. She wasn't kidding. FML
Today, my morbidly obese mother gave me an angry lecture at dinner, saying without any trace of irony that my vegetarian diet is "unhealthy and utterly unacceptable". FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house for dinner with his family. His mom cooked up a steak dinner, except that I'm a vegan, but trying to be a good girlfriend, I forced it down. Upon his mother finding out I was a vegan, she called me "disloyal to my beliefs." FML
Today, I found out that my mother has been telling everybody that I’m a lesbian, because both of her best friends have at least one gay child each, and she was feeling left out. This explains why people have been treating me differently the last few weeks. FML
Today, my daughter came home from school crying hysterically. Apparently, her teacher is a vegan douchebag who told the whole class, "If your family eats meat, they're eating your future!" Now she screams when we eat meat. FML
Today, I realized I've become a stereotypical militant vegan when I told a friend that we should start raising Lone Star ticks and dropping them around town so we could spread meat allergies and force people to eat vegan. FML
Today, I had a friend tell me all about how being a vegan was so great. They were eating eggs. FML
Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML
Today, I made the mistake of telling my militant vegan coworker I have fond memories of hunting with my dad, which set her off like a tofu-powered grenade. If she doesn’t stop treating me like the devil, making snide comments, and other shit, I may have to go to HR about her. FML
Today, my roommate raged at me for "lying" about being a vegetarian, because she saw chicken stored in my side of the fridge. That chicken isn't for me, it's an ingredient in the homemade food I make for my dogs. Apparently, serving my dogs real meat instead of forcing them into vegetarianism makes me a hypocrite. FML
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Top comments
Queensland 27
Get back at her by eating her garden, taking down all pictures of Jesus and hitting on all of her daughters.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
You should tell her that ignorant bitches will go down first when you take over the world, so she better watch out
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Comments (59)
whatismissing 8
Could she be a bit more specific about how these ppl according to her are ruining the world?
UberNova 18
Don't you see? Vegetarians because they really force their lifestyle on others. Atheists because God totally exists and stuff; Gays because ..... People feel weird about it and God hates the gay children that he loves! ~S
simplysarcastics 26
I think the mom wanted to get under your skin, I know thats a lot of things for people to accept but as a mother she should at least be respectful of your life style. Sadly there a people out there that judge things they shouldn't. I think its fair to judge some things, like bad people and criminals but someone that is not doing nothing that affects you, or nothing wrong leave them be.
cottoncandymango 17
No. There is not a set of three things that can classify individuals who are "ruining the world". She is being an inconsiderate, ignorant bitch.
hiholls 13
Kill her rude-ass with kindness!
brewmasterg 34
I disagree. It sounds like she's going out of her way to make OP feel terrible. She's ignorant and intolerant and honestly doesn't deserve OPs respect after being treated with none in return.
Rogerrr57 21
Actually, the people that are ruining the world are the ones who think the same way your friend's mom does. I feel sorry for you, that must have been awful to listen to.
websphere69 27
give her a warm hug and tell her you really do "love" jesus..,
ozpunker 20
The holy trinity of the antichrist. I'd be proud of that.
MegaSolipsist 13
Atheists have contributed VAST amounts to science, like the computer that we use right now! And the other two are none of her business.
Bano360 25
If anything, overly religious people are some of the worst kinds of people. They judge everyone who is different from themselves, which is what the bible says not to do.
luminos_ 9
I know a few 'overly religious' people and they are nice and don't judge anyone that doesn't share the same belief. You're making a bit of a generalization.
Bano360 25
Generalising - yes. What I should have said is, every overly religious person I know are judgemental morons.
Zimmington 21
Not to mention MOST but not all of them only follow the self serving parts of the bible. While ignoring all the rules that would mean they had to change. I guess actually being a good person not just saying it would be too inconvenient.
Zimmington 21
*Beyonce Voice* Who runs the world? Homosexual Atheist Vegetarians!