Today, my daughter came home from school crying hysterically. Apparently, her teacher is a vegan douchebag who told the whole class, "If your family eats meat, they're eating your future!" Now she screams when we eat meat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not a virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", Honey. FML
Today, my daughter said she wanted to be vegetarian like me. Beaming with pride, I made her plant-based burgers for dinner. She took one bite, screamed, "EW!" and started crying and begging for beef burgers. FML
Today, I got home to my daughter in tears because her dad decided 5 was the ideal age to tell her the chicken, bacon, and mince she eats every day comes from dead chickens, piggies, and moo cows. I now have a vegetarian 5 year-old and I’m seriously worried about malnutrition and stunted growth. FML
Today, after it appeared my daughter was throwing away any vegetables in her school lunch, I packed her all vegetables so she would have to eat at least one. Nope! She threw them out and complained to school that "mommy doesn't feed" her. I got a call from the school. FML
Today, my vegan step-mom found out I ate at McDonald's yesterday. She gave me hell and asked me how it feels to give money to "murderers". All while my dad sat quietly by because he's too whipped to speak his mind. It wasn't even her house a month ago. FML
Today, my daughters announced they had big news. They had a whole presentation saying they wanted our entire family to go vegan. When I told them, as gently as I could, that that was never happening, they burst into tears, screaming, "The planet is burning! Meat is killing us all!" They're 11 and 9. FML
Today, I made the mistake of telling my militant vegan coworker I have fond memories of hunting with my dad, which set her off like a tofu-powered grenade. If she doesn’t stop treating me like the devil, making snide comments, and other shit, I may have to go to HR about her. FML
Today, I told my younger sister that meat comes from cute animals like chickens and cows, hoping she'd want to be vegan like me. Instead, she laughed and made up a song about how chickens turn into tenders and cows turn into cheeseburgers. I ended up being the one who got upset. FML
Today, my vegan sister told my kids where meat and dairy products come from, in a very detailed way. They now refuse to eat meat, and want to, "rescue all the poor animals." FML
Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML
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Top comments
SirEnigM0nk 22
Time for a visit to the principal's office. Teacher got some 'splaining to do.
RichardPencil 32
The future is tasty!
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Comments (5)
RichardPencil 32
The future is tasty!
SirEnigM0nk 22
Time for a visit to the principal's office. Teacher got some 'splaining to do.
Thaylok 17
take cupcakes to school one day and make sure all are made up entirely of bacon for the whole class to enjoy right in front of the teacher.
RichardPencil 32
Do you mean cooked or raw bacon? Raw bacon could look like frosting. I guess you could make the stumps out of cooked bacon.
sch00ln3rd 11
Just make sure you verify that’s exactly what the teacher said. Kids do twist things and overreact. If she really did or said something similar tell her that’s not her place at all. Completely inappropriate.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
How old is your daughter? If she's a little kid, that teacher should be disciplined. If she's in middle school or older, she should know better.