Today, I had a friend tell me all about how being a vegan was so great. They were eating eggs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Never gonna happen
Today, my girlfriend woke me up by saying, "Good morning! We're going to be vegans from now on." FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
One step beyond
Today, I realized I've become a stereotypical militant vegan when I told a friend that we should start raising Lone Star ticks and dropping them around town so we could spread meat allergies and force people to eat vegan. FML
Leave me alone
Today, my brother turned into a fanatical vegan, and while I was eating my scrambled eggs, sat across from me glaring and whispering, "fried embryo, amniotic fluid" the entire time. I have a feeling i'll be eating most of my meals in my room from now on. FML
Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML
Today, the unhealthiest person I know, weighing in at around 350 pounds told me she was now a vegan. I then told her the Cheese-Itz, as well as the leather boots she was wearing wasn't vegan. She said I was wrong. I'm a nutritionist. FML
Disconnect
Today, I told my younger sister that meat comes from cute animals like chickens and cows, hoping she'd want to be vegan like me. Instead, she laughed and made up a song about how chickens turn into tenders and cows turn into cheeseburgers. I ended up being the one who got upset. FML
Today, I had to tell my wife that the new "vegan" diet she has put us on is not working with my body. It's not the horrible gas, hot shits, or constant hunger that made me realize this. It was the dream I had about fried chicken that did. FML
Go, Vegan!
Today, my vegan sister told my kids where meat and dairy products come from, in a very detailed way. They now refuse to eat meat, and want to, "rescue all the poor animals." FML
Digging my heels in
Today, my family dragged me to a steakhouse, knowing full well I'm vegan. I sat there, with my sad little salad, watching as they stuffed themselves with burned animal flesh and laughed at me. They wonder why I hate them all. FML
Top comments
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Tell them you agree with them while eating a steak
llalala_fml 19
I hope you broke it to them
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Comments (97)
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Tell them you agree with them while eating a steak
derp_taco 22
Steak is good
shaar_fml 33
Hypocrisy at its finest.
cheeeksss 29
Lol right? Do they even know how to vegan?
Retaheki 27
It'd be both I believe.
JayGatsby 25
Well, I mean, this really depends on the situation if the FML. If they were at a restaurant, then it's probably eggs, but if it's at work and he/she brought their own lunch then it could always be tofu, because sometimes I make my brother, who's vegan, "scrambled eggs" and it looks really similar.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Maybe they don't mean vegan, maybe they just mispronounced Vegan. As in they are from outer space.
Georgia0p 17
...what
Vestin 18
#12: 3 suggested that the person mentioned in OP was trying to convey how wonderful it must be to live on a planet orbiting the star Vega (second brightest star in the northern hemisphere!). Its name is pronounced /ˈveɪɡə/, though /ˈviːɡə/is also acceptable. Slightly more high-brow humor than the norm, downvote bait as a result. Damn shame...
doctorhook86 25
#14: Nerd cred for using IPA for the 15 year olds here on FML.
BlondePsycho 43
#14 thank you for clearing that up, I assumed they meant Vogon like the nasty aliens from Hitchhikers Guide
Nova900 17
Maybe they just confused vegan and vegetarian...
VeganVampyre 27
I feel like if you are either vegan or vegetarian you really ought to know the difference, and know which one applies to you...
kirasant 19
If you're ANYTHING you should know what that thing means. I'm so sick of these idiots latching onto some word they heard on tv and then never bother to even google it. "Vegitarians" that eat fish, "Buddhists" that get stoned, "Wiccans" that worship Satan, "Vegans" that won't give head; it's ridiculous. If you're going to use a word to describe yourself, learn what the word means! I hope OP gets a new friend, cus this one is a moron.
boating_guy 33
Just wondering here, an egg was never alive or "had a face on it". So a vegetarian could eat eggs, right? Clearly not a true vegan however, which is not the kind mentioned in the FML
Retaheki 27
Yep, #38.
kirasant 19
Yes, vegetarians can eat eggs. Some only eat free range eggs for the welfare of the hen, but yeah. Vegans on the other hand, cannot.
BlondePsycho 43
The "I cant give head, I'm vegan" excuse is hilarious.
higgysaurus 18
Actually there are people who call themselves ovo-vegans and they only allow themselves to eat eggs and occasionally fish but no other animal byproducts as being a true vegan is actually detrimental as you aren't able to get all of the amino acids necessary for survival
VeganDarkLight 31
Vegans do get all essential amino acids in a balanced diet, I would have to be dead by now otherwise. Please don't spread that false information any further.
Retaheki 27
Vegans are able to get all amino acids found in meat, but in plants, the levels are all wibbly-wobbly than compared to meat. There are other proteins and nutrients, such as carnosine (IIRC) that can't be found in plants.
Guardian88 21
You can buy that at walmart or in a supplement store
Ichiya 29
Any diet that needs supliments isn't really that healthy, but its their choice not mine.
LostMy_Marbles 24
I have a friend who is vegan. She chose to have this lifestyle because she doesn't want to support the food industries that mistreat their animals for food and what not. But, she does eat eggs sometimes if they are from her father in law's chooks because she knows how they are treated, what they are being fed etc. Maybe OP's friend is the same?
powhovian221b 13
Depends on the vegetarian. There are multiple types. Some don't have eggs. Some don't have milk. Some eat eggs and some eat chicken. It just depends on what kind you want to be. And well also some like me, don't eat eggs by themselves, but will eat them in stuff. And same with milk.
RobinGoodfellow 47
Somebody's got a big surprise comin'.
i_wuz_nver_here 31
Were they at least free range?
llalala_fml 19
I hope you broke it to them
Jasim 17
It's great being stupid.
Metthew 15
Haha, I suppose you should tell them the difference between 'vegetarian' and 'vegan'.
immaMonsta 8
In that moment I would have pulled out my phone, Googled the difference between vegeterian and vegan, and politely showed the contents of the screen to them. You know, since they apparently don't know the difference themselves.