Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked for a picture of my penis, so I sent her one. Then later on, she asked for one when I was hard, the first one I sent I was hard. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML
Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML
Today, while having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, I pushed all the way in. She said, "Stop teasing me, put everything in." FML
Today, my girlfriend text me and told me to do something sexy because she was going to FaceTime me. I eagerly dropped my pants and started stroking it to get ready for her. As soon as I opened her call, she was standing with my wife. I literally got caught with my dick in my hand. FML
Today, my girlfriend took off my pants for the first time. She was more impressed by the pattern on my boxers than by my cock. FML
Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML
Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML
Today, I had my girlfriend over and we were hugging when she put her feet on my feet. We started walking around like that and I said, "This is hard to maintain." She replied with "So's your erection." FML
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Top comments
jackaaa 0
Aww baby penis.
Puolukka 4
Maybe it was the first time for her to fool around with a guy like that period and she just didn't know what it's supposed to feel like/what it feels like when it's not hard?! She obviously has never touched a penis before...because even if it was pretty small you can still tell if the guy is hard or not... o.O
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Comments (196)
amirn86 0
Definitely the jeans... unless they were skinny jeans lol And I dunno if you know Bo Burnham but he has a song about this, it might make you feel better: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Svbyc87V9pg&feature=channel_page
chlwel 0
i heart bo burnham. and i doubt it was you, honestly, jeans disguise boners. my boyfriend gets aggravated if i make him hard in shorts cause its alot harder to conceal.
starbaby 0
She must not have been paying attention. I was fooling around with a guy once who was very tiny and even though when I felt it I was disappointed I still new the lil sucker was at attention.
Jimboom 12
Lol. Funny. Should have told her "You want me to get hard? Why don't you help me with your mouth, because the harder you suck the bigger it gets"
FallinForYou12 0
I'd do that!
DubstepMasta 18
23, you are the chuck norris of *******.
menelie 0
Agreed with #13. It's really hard to tell through jeans. I wouldn't worry about it unless it happens again when you're naked. ;D
liketoknow 0
hey small dick. Hope you have other talents...
lmaoscrubs 0
LMFAO your jeans must had to be like the holiday inn,,, no ball room
Hgielad_720 0
Lmao, that was pretty funny....
mrcarmine 0
stop being such a crybaby! you had jeans on, man, it can be hard to see what's going on with penises in jeans.
bman01 0
that's a burn
MGMT_fml 0
#4 has a point
NyCSal 0
Ok this one is FBYL...**** both ur lives lol You for having a small penis, and her for the very lame comment "Get hard for Me"