Today, my girlfriend asked for a picture of my penis, so I sent her one. Then later on, she asked for one when I was hard, the first one I sent I was hard. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML
Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML
Today, I was texting my girlfriend and asked her for a picture, expecting something provocative. She sent me a picture of her holding a positive pregnancy test. We had sex once. FML
Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML
Today, my girlfriend sent me a naked picture of herself and I wish she hadn't. FML
Today, I sent my long-distance girlfriend the first photo of me I'd sent her in a while. It was a photo of me with some of my friends. She didn't know which one I was. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML
Today, for the first time in my life, I sent a dickpic to a girl I had been talking to for a few days on Snapchat. Even though she had asked me for it, when she saw the pic, she blocked me. FML
Today, I woke up to a nude picture of my girlfriend. Once I looked at it my morning wood went away. FML
Today, my friend told me that my brother sent her a picture of his dick. How did she tell me this? By sending me the picture. FML
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Top comments
Quest_ 13
Good news for you is that you can **** her left nostril while she licks your balls.
doo514 0
anyone's penis look small on a phone... u should tell her to measure it with her mouth next time
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Comments (214)
kappaaa 12
hahahahaha. that's got to suck.
xesyeso 0
awww baby penis! (: and when i say awww i mean ew.
melsaraj 9
man ur an idiot.. why the **** send a chick a picture of ur dick.. u make her wait for it atleast.. and her phones gotta have a small screen or something.. unless she has an iPhone than.. that's just sad
Relys 0
let me cack you!
marinus_fml 20
unfortunately OP, it couldn't have been worse :(
Trupe 3
Haha I never understood why people with small dicks send girls pictures and get all offended when they call them out on their smalldickosity. That's happened to like four people I know. I need to stop hanging out with needle dicks haha. :P
mona_is_here 10
I never understood why people would want to take a picture of their genitals or why would anyone want to see them. Gross.
melsaraj 9
hahahaha 18, r u the only black guy among your friends? and 19.. u look Lebanese
Shookitup 0
haha baby boner :P
marinus_fml 20
dear #19. hi-5
mona_is_here 10
marinus, yay :D 21, I'm Armenian-Tatar.
Ali_Br_fml 33
yeah, I wonder why pol send pictures of their genitalia too. You're only giving your s/o a chance to show all their friends, or post it to some website. Haven't you ever seen that happen to someone??? Even if it was only on tv? On the news @ least? I'm posting this again b/c my comment didn't show up. If it does show up, sorry for the double post...
marinus_fml 20
Mona, if by yay you mean thankyou, no problem :) if not, I don't know what else to say haha
doo514 0
anyone's penis look small on a phone... u should tell her to measure it with her mouth next time
mona_is_here 10
31, hahaha yeah, it was like a high-five in response :D
mona_is_here 10
what else could it mean? I'm lost now xD
coolsteve 0
So sad, yet funny because mine is bigger than average (for a White guy lol)
marinus_fml 20
Mona I even confused myself o.0
mona_is_here 10
lmao marinus, you have too good imagination :D
Bertj 5
LOLers! Seriously though I can already see you sitting there like a loser taking a picture of your willy. Ew.
PhatHakop 0
I'm Armenian too!
marinus_fml 20
haha thank-you Mona :)
justsayfuck 5
#39 omg that's like soo awesome! I'd totally do you now you've said that on the internet. (I don't think I have to mention that was meant sarcastically, but just to be sure: It wasw meant sarcastically)
Sanchezzz 0
39 go put your huge **** to use instead of wasting my time by posting stupid shit. its obvious you have a 2 inch ****, just admit it and go away.
mona_is_here 10
51, awesome!! I can tell that by your name, nice to see another Armenian person on here! :)))
melsaraj 9
54- I like your sarcasm lmao I think 39 is some 8 year old kid that got permission to use fml and msn from his parents and feels like he is a bad ass
mona_is_here 10
What, does one need a permission to visit this site? If I were a kid, I'd just not tell my parents and delete the browser history afterwards :P
iAppTime 0
#36 you win
allenrotstein 0
hey 54, i'm 8 inches. Will you do me instead? hahaha
xsam4296x 0
...Aaand that's why you don't send picks of your penis. That's it for today's class! See you tomorrow when we talk about what not to stock in your ******!
xsam4296x 0
stick* sorry
KiddNYC1O 22
19, I would at least want to see a picture of your boobs
TamsenG 2
Hahahaha agreed
jrarndt17 0
win
mona_is_here 10
97, I always like your comments, they are so honest yet sarcastic haha
ayychihuahua 0
hahahahaha that constipated turtle comment made me laugh harder than the fml. win :) for chaos
dickster 0
Your gammar sucks that small penis of yours, and YDI for sending dick pics. I hope she puts them on the Internet.
dickster 0
Ok Steve... that was really not necessary. No one cares about that.
dickster 0
Lol #54. I was wondering why he even posted that...
Blue_Coconuts 7
I can't take a picture of mine.... iPhone doesn't have a panoramic mode yet. Snap!
just_nicole 1
lol dumb move..don't yu watch MTV when they tell yu not to send pics..?!?!..paha
coolsteve 0
54 has saggy old lady **** and 59 is a greasy spic
coolsteve 0
57*
coolsteve 0
61 has a tiny penis, as emphasised by the fact he is trying to show his muscles off on the Internet and clearly has penis shame.
quent10 0
needle dick! needle dick! needle dick!
guitarman201 3
hahaha baby d, baby ,d baby d, baby d, baby d. hahahahahahahahahaha
itsjustme13 0
#3 Bahahaha
Viatus 0
The joke is that he said penis.
ninjacapo 2
dumbass u deserve it
mona_is_here 10
138, haha noo, why should I hate you? we had a little argument here in comments a while ago but I guess, it's quite natural that people can't agree about just everything. overall I like your way of thinking. :)
realangelofdeath 0
true dat
TurboTalon 0
OP should dump his online girlfriend.
melsaraj 9
120 .. u feelin jelious huh I don't mind that u have the need to hate on my achievements due to your lack of determination to move your ass and hit the gym
kmow32 0
I like the way u think 152,, the weightroom is the best place to be
soccerdude101 0
lookin good
whattagirl 0
if I was this guy, that woulda bruised the ego a bit. but since I'm not, I can laugh :P poor OP .. it's okay!
pussylikka69 0
sexyy ;)
liller90 0
97 Beat me to it ;(
VoidDreams 0
All hail #36!
cporter125 0
ydi for having a small penis
chillpill 0
wow 3 ur gorgeous =D can I hav ur number???
spltfngr 0
18, you need to stop hanging out with white people then.
DaTruth1222 0
36 got the right idea
xXxDILFxXx 0
I'll show you a man penis and you'll want in wall the more but I may supply for some head..
StrictlyMCH 0
you can get the dick
eshaa 5
Lolololol
linx468 8
Not your fault, you can't choose how big your genitals are.
DarkHelmet 10
eeeewwwww time to talk to the doctor about some natural male enhancement OP
PurpleMonkeysFor 0
that won't make it bigger , just harder faster for longer
Edokun 0
i have worked put that guys who brag that theu have large a large penis half the time actually have small a penis, i have a freind in year 9 who kwpt braggibg about having a large penis then got cacked with an erection... all i have to say is that my teory was proved that day
mitchie11 0
lmao. Idk what to say OP.. go get some extenze? Try that, i guess. I hear it works from a few friends of mine.
lickmyjock 0
lol nub
MrDanimal 0
Don't mind #5, apparently they have a drinking problem seeing as they spelt noob wrong and the fact that his martini is bigger then his head which also makes me question his sexuality.
mitchie11 0
actually your correction of his spelling of the word "nub" shows that you don't know what you're talking about. Nub is commonly used in many different online video games. So yeah his drink is bigger than his head - he might be gay or in the closet, but he spelt noob as it is implying that he could be a huge nerd. Hence, a gay nerd.
MrDanimal 0
Go look up the definition of nub retard
linx468 8
MrDanimal FTW
zanesaurus 0
Actually, my dad drinks martini's and has been married to my step-mom for 15 years, owns 8 Verizon stores, and lives in a 6500 sq. ft. home. So questioning someone's sexuality because of a drink seems really ignorant.
MrDanimal 0
Basing peoples sexuality on what they own or have is ignorant. You shouldn't judge him for what he's hiding from your family that's his buisness.
linx468 8
Also you forgot his name sounds gay and his old picture, which was of a man who looked like a transvestite.
MrDanimal 0
See Linx sees it. I bet in about 10 days we will see an fml about you dad and lickmyjock. I promise not to say we told you so.
lickmyjock 0
U MAD?!
MrDanimal 0
I don't see any caps or "!" so I don't believe so. thanks for asking though :) You gays are so nice and sensitive :D
thriceforme 3
#62, okay, so he's gay and you look like a convict. No wonder your gaydar went off. it's super sensitive, too :-)
lickmyjock 0
by the way number 7, look up nub on urban dictionary k thanks:-)
MrDanimal 0
I'm not black, I use real dictionarys, k thanks.
lickmyjock 0
it really has nothing to do with being black.
ninomunoz 0
Dictionaries* Oh, the irony. <3
ratard69 0
to 30, 6500 ft isn't impressive. lol I my dads a construction worker, and we have 2100 just for our driveway. plus a lot of land in our back feild, and in our front yard, and by the side of our house. plus I have a trampoline. just sayin.
arieelxx 0
81- no one gives a shit about the size of your driveway or that you own a trampoline. sorry to break it to you and all.
LightningLadyy 0
85 is right.
ratard69 0
85- actually, I was just proving how his yard really is nothing to brag about. when your from WISCONSIN :D, 6500 is the size of a thumbtack. hahaha
ndizzle 0
Ratard, you do realize that 6500 is referring to the square footage of the house, not the lot, right? And 6500 sq ft is huge by anyone's standards. The trampoline comment was so amazing that I laughed out loud. No way!! Trampoline?!?! Get out!
coolsteve 0
"Ratard"?
coolsteve 0
oh it's his name, my bad. sorry
Philson_fml 1
ahah nice one
ratard69 0
111- YOU BET! and I thought he was referring to his yard, whoops. lol and I'm a chick, haha.
delhi14 0
62- you look like a murderer o_O
MrDanimal 0
I obviously am seeing as only murderers wear skullcaps... and have beards.
Xavi89 0
hahaha.
bumgum1 0
take enzyme! lose your chode!
Schizomaniac 24
Ahaha. Try again. An enzyme is a reaction-catalyzing protein in biological systems. :/
Edokun 0
thank you for being smart ^.^ now some people have more to help them with biology :P
Schizomaniac 24
:D
ygdrassil 17
could you be referring to Enzyte?
bumgum1 0
idk! but he has a chode! and it needs to get teh **** off this planet... my cocks 8"
drakeforever 0
shame:/
Shaeeey 0
nawww that must suck be brave!! lol it's not about the size it's how you use it
bumgum1 0
no, she cares about the size.
hellokeroppi 5
you shouldn't sext ass hole
ratard69 0
# 15 FTW!
atari83man 0
Stfu
lil_ham1644 29
Why does having some fun with his significant other make him an asshole?