Today, my girlfriend took off my pants for the first time. She was more impressed by the pattern on my boxers than by my cock. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when she revealed her underwear: boxer shorts. She said she wears them because they’re the only underwear that doesn’t ride up her ass crack. Completely killed the mood. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML
Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML
Today, my girl likes to wear my boxers around the house but she was in a pair I’d not seen before. I asked her and she went all quiet and guilty looking. Dudes, I literally caught my girlfriend in another man’s drawers. It would be tragic but right now it’s just too funny. FML
Today, my incredibly self-conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me, and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML
Today, I got my boyfriend's pants down for the first time and turns out my thumb is bigger than his erect penis. I already know he has weak tongue technique, but this is an extra slap in the face I do not need. FML
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML
Today, I realized that I look sexier in my fiancée's panties than she does. FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
1dvs_bstd 41
Was it shiny? Girls, like fish are attracted to shiny things. -Barney Stinson.
Mightyrif 23
Paint your **** with the same pattern. Bet that'll impress her!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (85)
nickob96 25
Did she play with it? If she played with your dick in the end who gives a shit if she liked your boxers better
Nickb55 16
This seemed a little crude. I'm ashamed to be a fellow NickB.
JazzHandsFML 28
who said anything about dick? I'm just curious why chicken is in op's boxers.
octinate 17
Impressed by a pattern? She sounds like an old lady
Retaheki 27
Sr, he's not a nickb, he's a nickob. There's a difference.
nickob96 25
#4 How is this rude???? If she took the snake out of the cage and played with it does it really madder if she's rude about anything?
incoherentrmblr 22
It maTTers...
rainbotato 14
Maybe you should buy less interesting underwear.
kitsy 14
If he does that, his girlfriend won't be impressed by anything at all
Mightyrif 23
Or wear a condom with an extravagant pattern!
Eyeslick 33
Or maybe he could get a pattern tattooed on?
Livin_Like_Larry 29
That sounds painful
1dvs_bstd 41
Was it shiny? Girls, like fish are attracted to shiny things. -Barney Stinson.
Steve95401 49
She was attracted by my boxers and that, kids, is how your mother became your mother.
1dvs_bstd 41
It's Starney Binson, so they never saw her again.
Mightyrif 23
Paint your **** with the same pattern. Bet that'll impress her!
jerryj 27
Better yet, tatoo your **** with an optical illusion pattern.
mikepzz 27
I'm just going to paint mine black and see what happens.. :0
Stillo 25
Please tell me that you wore batman boxers!!' :D
Miss_Whipped 43
I've got a good story about exactly this.
onlychildFTW 34
Batman boxers? Lame. Batman briefs are where it's at! :D
openminded8 17
you should take that as "lesson learned" minimize the wrapping, to maximize the package
earljonez 22
Your profile pic suits your comment.
openminded8 17
:)
ma12r 22
Damn OP. Maybe try boxer briefs? Or maybe a dull pattern? Gotta make her want the package not the packaging
mrmcleod 29
I guess once you've seen one **** you've seen them all. I wouldn't read much into it.
iAlissa 34
I can honestly say this is true. They all look the same. Men shouldn't be too offended if women don't take a massive amount of interest in it.
mrmcleod 29
Exactly. I would be willing to bet that OP probably didn't take massive interest in his girlfriend's genitalia. Kinda last thing on my mind when it comes to sex, I'm more interested in the act itself and acts leading up to it, rather than all the component parts.
iAlissa 34
"Whoopie, party-parts. Let's make out."
rivaraven 35
What did you expect? For her to be amazed for an hour, because you have a penis? It's nothing special, really.
weveallbeenthere 30
in the end, hopefully she still played with your **** rather than stare at your boxers.