Today, my German Shepherd decided to bark at, then attack, a painted rock. At least I know I'm protected from inanimate objects. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML
Today, I was walking in the park when I was hit on the shin by a red ball. I was confused, until it was followed by an enormous German Shepherd dog going at top speed. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML
Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML
Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML
Today, my dog was about to get hit by a tree branch, so I yelled for him to move. He got mad and started barking at me. And got nailed by the tree branch. FML
Today, my boyfriend's vicious dog, which he got as a security measure and growls and barks at me whenever I go near it, was caught on our security camera playing like a puppy with a burglar, while the other two burglars cleaned out all our valuables. FML
Today, I was mauled by my own dog. I own a Chihuahua. FML
Today, I noticed my parents replaced my senior picture that hung on our living room wall with a painted one. Of our German Shepherd. FML
Today, the dog went nuts at 3am. I searched the yard with a spotlight and machete. Nothing. He may actually just be an asshole. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
error404n0tf0und 21
keep him away from your pet rock!!
DrJesse 10
At least you know if that Travelocity bastard tries to kill you,your dog will **** his work up.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (50)
error404n0tf0und 21
keep him away from your pet rock!!
TwitchingNebula 17
German shepherds have a thing for rocks...pet or not.
DrJesse 10
At least you know if that Travelocity bastard tries to kill you,your dog will **** his work up.
that1guyyy 12
I smell viral video?
pugpuggy 21
Ugh, what the **** is that smell? It smells like shit.
zandalee 20
Gotta stop getting your dog stoned OP...
error404n0tf0und 21
pun intended?
error404n0tf0und 21
because I didn't get your stone! ;)
gc327072 31
^error 404 joke not found.
KingDead 18
'Why karma' is his title.. Makes me wonder if he's truly worried about inanimate objects.. What'd you do OP?! Haha
mcaisse77 17
I think Karma is op's dog's name. It's very common for a dog to be named Karma.
PincessBoff 6
Karma's a bitch, right?
KingDead 18
Ah, thanks #24, that makes much more sense heh..
LovesSushi 25
Growing up, we had a golden lab that would bark at rocks all the time. He would get mad because he could not grab them. But when he was able to, man oh man, that was one happy dog! I feel for ya.
botanistjessica 24
My new puppy tries to eat rocks. And sticks. And paper. It's very hard to take her outside!
Barhinder 9
It could have been something in the paint. I do the same at Home Hardware...
xeka 10
That rock could do more damage then you know!
dinosxxrawr 22
you'll regret doubting your dog when rocks take over the world.
whatnow430 15
They already have, theyre everywhere man!
perdix 31
#9, don't worry, the dog also has aspirations of World Domination. Stay on his good side and you'll be OK.
guitarbeast 22
Just wait till the rock revolution. You'll be happy when your dog keeps you safe from those stony bastards.