Today, I was eating with my boyfriend and his family at a high-end restaurant when, suddenly, I screamed, thinking a dog had just bitten my leg. I am terrified of dogs. I kicked my under-the-table assailant as hard as I could. It was my boyfriend's adorable five-year-old sister. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML
Today, while I was cooking, my dogs were messing around behind me. I suddenly felt a painful bite on my ass cheek and instinctively kicked back. I then realized it was my 3-year-old daughter, who was laying on the floor crying with a nose bleed. FML
Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML
Today, my mom's super spoiled small demon dog attacked my 3 year-old daughter, mauling her leg. Out of instinct, I kicked it away, causing it to fly across the room yelping. I picked up my daughter and took her straight to the hospital, where she got stitches. Later that night, I was greeted with a vet bill. FML
Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, the family dog was in the garbage and wouldn't stop eating. He is a large dog, and I had to put my arms around him and pull him out of the trash can. Well, he bit me so hard I was bleeding. My whole family is siding with the dog and saying it was my fault for not letting him eat. FML
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Today, I was out running. All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamed like a girl in front of everyone. It was a puppy wanting to play. FML
Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML
Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML
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Top comments
Tehalon 0
You did a good job, kids should know its not polite to play under the table in a high-end restaurant. Do wonder why you would think a dog is walking around in a high-end restaurant...
CrimsonKnight 0
It'll teach her not to bite peoples legs or to crawl under tables when your out eating. It'll save her parents trying to teach her.
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Comments (284)
AreYouSure_fml 0
To all those people going 'why would there be a dog at the restaurant?' Ever heard of impulse? And like she said, she's terrified of dogs, so that just adds to her impulsive state of mind. GO GET A LIFE IDIOTS.
arashixarashi 0
I agree with #115. If you're terrified of spiders and you see something that resembles it, your first instinct is to react adversely. Obviously this is an uncontrollable reflex. Yes, a dog at a high end restaurant is ridiculous, but leg biting is associated with vicious dogs, not cute little girls.
fuckmyl1f333 0
why would u kick a dog anyway?
mehwhateverr 0
People saying it's her fault... how would she have known it was a person? Little girls don't normally bite people's legs. #116 has it right.
summer66_fml 0
why did she bite you??? and why would a dog be at a restaurant???
pushinglimits_fml 0
wtff?? like who does that, is she a mole rat or something?
scorpiogirl666 0
#118, just saying, little girls bite people all the time. My little sister once bit my hand so hard that I bled.
milkduds22 0
haha thats funny!!!!1 i hope she's ok........ well, even though it was probably soooooooo embarrassing, it's hilarious..... i no a ton of people said this already but, why would you think a dog would be in a nice restoraunt, i mean, shouldn't you THINK before you kick something as hard as you can
Ibeapirate 0
A dog. under the table. at a high-end restaurant. ....yeah, that makes sense. You might want to get some desensitization therapy. That's some serious paranoia.
luxor21221 0
i think everyone just needs to stop lashing out at the idiots that persistently keep asking "why would a dog be at a high end restaurant?" because i'm begining to think they're doing it just to piss other people off. and in the case where that is the opposite and the person is genuinely asking why there is a dog in a high end restaurant, well we shouldn't lash out at them either as it is not their fault that they have a 2 digit IQ... that would be their parents fault.