Today, I was eating with my boyfriend and his family at a high-end restaurant when, suddenly, I screamed, thinking a dog had just bitten my leg. I am terrified of dogs. I kicked my under-the-table assailant as hard as I could. It was my boyfriend's adorable five-year-old sister. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML
Today, while I was cooking, my dogs were messing around behind me. I suddenly felt a painful bite on my ass cheek and instinctively kicked back. I then realized it was my 3-year-old daughter, who was laying on the floor crying with a nose bleed. FML
Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML
Today, my mom's super spoiled small demon dog attacked my 3 year-old daughter, mauling her leg. Out of instinct, I kicked it away, causing it to fly across the room yelping. I picked up my daughter and took her straight to the hospital, where she got stitches. Later that night, I was greeted with a vet bill. FML
Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, the family dog was in the garbage and wouldn't stop eating. He is a large dog, and I had to put my arms around him and pull him out of the trash can. Well, he bit me so hard I was bleeding. My whole family is siding with the dog and saying it was my fault for not letting him eat. FML
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Today, I was out running. All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamed like a girl in front of everyone. It was a puppy wanting to play. FML
Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML
Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML
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Top comments
Tehalon 0
You did a good job, kids should know its not polite to play under the table in a high-end restaurant. Do wonder why you would think a dog is walking around in a high-end restaurant...
CrimsonKnight 0
It'll teach her not to bite peoples legs or to crawl under tables when your out eating. It'll save her parents trying to teach her.
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Comments (284)
idoc300 11
You're kind of an asshole, even if it was a dog, which is weird in a high end restaurant, why would you have kicked it? That's just mean, dogs don't bite unless they are threatened
heythisisme02 9
Well no offense to her but she deserves it. good for you maybe she now knows don't bite people or even mess with them with out knowing its a little kid at a high-end restaurant or even a low-end restaurant Definitely her fault in this case.
whatthefhumanity 7
So the brat that -did- bite you is "adorable", but a dog isn't? Some people.
Solano2580 24
Why didn't they hire a babysitter?
kelardy 11
i'm sorry if you are in a high class restaurant Why would there be a dog? -.-
ByeTech 10
Super uncomfortable...I guess the parents hated you after that. My 2 cents - you suck for kicking it, thinking it was a dog. The biting couldn't have been so painful as it came from a small child, but you could have killed a dog by kicking it right in the face. I have a severe fear of dogs too, but come on, **** you.
cheesebond 29
Why would you kick a dog :'(
love_that_food 18
Why would you kick a dog as hard as you could? Why would a dog be at a high end restaurant?Next time look under a table and if there is a dog don't hurt it
nellyphant 18
Why would you automatically assume it's a dog under the table in a high end restaurant?
TheRealStunts 27
YDI for eating at a high end restaurant. Jk jk