Today, a customer passed out in the bathroom, so we didn't realize he was there until after closing. I don't know what he'd shot up, but whatever it was told him he should run around naked. It's been two hours and the cops still haven't shown up. I can't leave until he does. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML
Today, while working at a retail, I was checking on a customer who had been in one of the dressing rooms for over an hour. After knocking for 10 minutes, I unlocked the door myself, only to find the customer sitting on the floor, smoking crack. This isn't even the first time this has happened. FML
Today, I, along with two cops and another paramedic, had to fight to pin down some total scumsucker. He was high out of his mind on god knows what, in his underwear, screaming like a maniac outside someone else's house at 2 in the morning. I don't get paid nearly enough for this shit. FML
Today, while using the bathroom in a small coffee shop, I somehow passed out sitting on the toilet. There is nothing more jarring than waking up to the vicious banging of 7 angry, urine-filled patrons attempting to break down a door. FML
Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML
Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
Today, I had just gotten out of the bath when a police officer knocked on my door. I answered in my towel, and he told me I had to leave due to a bomb scare. FML
Today, for the first time in a week, a customer entered my store. He needed to use the bathroom. FML
Today, I passed out in the shower with my boyfriend. He just left me there. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Keep calling the cops? Are you telling them you fear for your safety?
Glowworm56 27
*Reads OP's user name* Are you sure your horse didn't teach him that? ;)
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Comments (16)
Glowworm56 27
Thank goodness the store was closed at this point!
Glowworm56 27
*Reads OP's user name* Are you sure your horse didn't teach him that? ;)
Eashy 16
Does your boss pay more for overtime?
RichardPencil 32
Keep calling the cops? Are you telling them you fear for your safety?
azouwa 26
I would of placed him and his belongings outside and shut and locked the door. he's lucky he's dealing with you and not me.
Mike3258 18
first you gotta catch the naked man. and that may include accidentally touching his wiener
GIJoefan 6
I would say it was bath salts, but I'm not sure if that can be injected, and they don't make you pass out.
ElNeto 14
If you can't beat em, Join em!
kirkaygri 18
I'd have called 911. Then an ambulance and a cop would have shown up. You could say he was delusional and acting violent and erratic and you thought he was having a medical emergency.
Cynical_1 26
Wow...third FML published in less than a week! That's amazing! You're on a roll. At least this one isn't about your horse(s).
Adeline90 10
OMG!!!Where do you work exactly?
AkaiKitsune 32
Right by two drug regab centres and a minimum security prison.