Today, I woke up and poured myself a large glass of orange juice from a carton and took a big gulp only to realize it was liquid eggs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I made scrambled eggs. Returning the rest of the carton, I tripped and spilled 10 raw eggs all over the inside of the fridge. The same fridge I spent 2 hours cleaning and scrubbing every drawer and shelf of yesterday. FML
Today, someone drank a sip of my single serve pasteurized orange juice and put it back in the fridge, ignoring the whole jug of non-pasteurized juice, that I cant drink because im pregnant. I cried. FML
Today, I cracked an egg with a disgusting rotten black yolk into the pan, ruining my almost done breakfast. Last time this happened, just coincidentally, two deaths in the family and a near deadly mental breakdown followed. Now eggs seem too gross to eat, and I’m afraid this time was another bad omen. FML
Today, I ate some hardboiled eggs for breakfast, not knowing they were practically rotten. My whole day has consisted of vomit-inducing sulfuric farts and diarrhea. FML
Today, I accidentally drank my sister's science project. Her science project consisted of taking a glass of orange juice and putting maggots in it to see if they would live. I thought it was just pulp. FML
Today, I poured out a glass of apple juice to drink. I threw out a beer can from earlier, and my mom thought I was drinking alcohol, not juice. She scolded me, until I made her physically taste the juice. FML
Today, I cracked an egg which turned out to have an extremely thin shell, so at first contact with the bowl, it came apart in my hand and the contents glooped right through my fingers, all the way down the kitchen cabinet, into a half-open drawer, as well as onto the floor and underneath the cabinet. FML
Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML
Today, my father started drinking a little early. At some point, he got hungry and decided to boil eggs. He started a dozen, drank some more, and passed out on the couch. When I came home, all the water had boiled off and the eggs had exploded all over the kitchen. I'm still cleaning up the mess. FML
Today, I woke up late for work. I rushed everything, ate a quick meal and was thirsty as hell. I saw a 2-liter Coca Cola bottle, so I poured a huge glass filled with ice and ran out the door. While driving, I took a huge gulp of nice, cold thick cooking oil. FML
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Top comments
Memeosaurus 14
How do you mistake liquid eggs for orange juice?
YoloWhiteRSA 20
Let's just hope you don't get Salmonella.
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Comments (46)
Memeosaurus 14
How do you mistake liquid eggs for orange juice?
Miss_Whipped 43
Well, they both come in the same type of carton (look it up if you don't know what liquid eggs are). If you're sleepy enough, it's actually not that unreasonable.
MDoremis 38
Plus they both foam when shaken and are generally the same color (once the yolks are beaten together with the whites).
Mauskau 36
They usually sell cartons of egg whites, the yolk isn't included. The eggs are slightly thicker so they will come out of the carton in clumps rather than as easily as the orange juice. They have a light yellow colour which is similar to what fresh orange juice that is straight from the orange looks like. If you're half asleep it's probably quite easy a mistake to make.
Colon_Man 17
They sell eggs out of their shell, now? Interesting. I'm gonna have to look next grocery trip.
Lalala579121 28
Did you not even read the comments on the coffee FML? Some of the things people accidentally put in their coffee in the morning put this to shame.
XxDanno316xX 27
Time to crawl out from under that rock, mate :)
Colon_Man 17
You guys are all liars! I went to the store and Darlene said she had never heard of pre-opened eggs.
SauceySarah 30
Isn't drinking raw eggs a good way to become bigger and stronger? Think of the pros.
trollcrusher 17
OP just needed to finish drinking their eggs, turn on Eye of the Tiger, and go for a jog! They'd become Rocky Balboa in no time.
awspinks77 7
Naw, no jog. go lift heavy shit in a gym. What's the use in drinking raw egg if afterward you're going to cause muscular atrophy, inviting catabolism through steady state cardio. Terrible idea.
XxDanno316xX 27
I think you missed what 23 was saying, mate :)
YoloWhiteRSA 20
Let's just hope you don't get Salmonella.
ast3150 13
If sold in a carton, they surely are treated to prevent from bacteria and stuff, aren't they?
brezzyanna 17
You're supposed to cook them first, so yes you can get salmonella from it.
CMYKorBust 7
They're usually pasteurized. FYI
NotRussian 16
Not really how you get salmonella, but sure.
TheNoNameGuy 20
Is it because you had raw eggs for some workout milkshake or something?? No other question makes sense but "How?"
thatweirdasian 22
OP might not have been fully awake at the time. Plus, liquid egg carton and juice carton can look quite similar.
sylvienoir 18
have you ever gone to the store and in the egg/dairy section sometimes theres cartons of egg whites? sometimes they have cartons that are just whole scrambled eggs too.
awildwhisper 30
All that protein might give you night vision for next time you're thirsty.
ThunderLightTSV 31
Mmmmm. How...Appetising.
MonCapitan 4
Always always always read the label before you consume anything
JennaCruz 5
I thought of Gaston right away :D
hhparkkk 8
Was it a prank??
bambisapphic 18
well, you got your protein for the day.
awspinks77 7
Chances are, no. The average person should consume between .8-1g of protein per pound of bodyweight. Athletes more so.