Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
Today, during an argument that he couldn't win, my boyfriend farted in a glass, covered it with his hand, ran to me, and let it go it right in front of my nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend dislocated my jaw by sitting on my face while trying to fart on it. FML
Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML
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Top comments
auro7 18
It's 4am, so tired I didn't notice it say when HE laughed I kinda skimmed the FML and read it as "I laughed". Thought OP was laughing at her boyfriend farting and then he got mad and spit on her. Well thanks for clearing that up.
Damafia 19
He spit on her while he was laughing...say it don't spray it type of thing.
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Comments (63)
Omniprism 15
You can't help but laugh at that too.
sartrow 8
Prince Charming
foxy_sunshine 8
Sounds like you should get another man.... yuck :/
limabeans101029 21
What, because he's a human whose body carries out normal bodily functions? I'm sure the farting wasn't pleasant but everyone does it! And I'm sure the spitting was an accident.
nevermindthemind 18
and this, is how you tell your grandchilds funny life stories
bustyou 15
This guys my hero !
MaxDopamine 0
If it's his way of impressing a girl in bed, he's certainly doing it wrong. -_-
Kamdrex_fml 5
Farted on your Nose, Make you crazy for his Fart ?
beefsteak07 12
He's a keeper!
hateredblast 7
Well... YOU chose your boyfriend... now you gotta suffer the consequences!
ya_boy_jimmy1996 11
dump him