Today, I was cooking. I leaned over the stove to preheat the oven, and burned my nipple on a pot of boiling water. I also have a teething son who is breastfeeding. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was cooking, and I took a pot of boiling water to the sink to drain. My pot holder slipped, and the boiling water spilled all over my breasts. Second degree boob burns are bad, but losing half a nipple to potato salad is worse. FML
Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML
Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML
Today, I spilt a very hot cup of tea all over a burn I got yesterday from spilling a very hot cup of tea. FML
Today, I had to explain to my husband that while trying to figure out how to make coffee on our stupid new machine, I was in fact nude, so when I finally got it to work and steam came hissing out of the nozzle, I got first degree burn on my nipple. FML
Today, I accepted I can't cook at all. Why? I burned myself cooking popcorn in a microwave oven. I accidentally burst the package open and a scorching kernel flew into my bra. FML
Today, I burned myself while cooking, so I asked my mom to get the burn cream while I waited in the kitchen. While I was waiting, I absentmindedly set my hand on the hot stove, earning myself a second burn. FML
Today, while grabbing a husk of corn out of the boiling hot pot, I splashed hot water on my neck, dropped the corn on my injured toe, and cut myself on the counters, all while my family laughed at my pain. FML
Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML
Today, I made a cup of tea at work. Whilst talking to a workmate, I took a sip of the tea, which I had forgotten was boiling hot, and laughed at the same time, causing it to come out of my nose. I have blistered my whole mouth and even burnt my nostrils. FML
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Top comments
PistachioNut94 0
were you naked?
blacklikemyheart 0
Its a shame people don't have two nipples...
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Comments (284)
Nakedsquirrel 5
Have your man make it better. Or, if he's a deadbeat/overseas/away on business, you can easily find a volunteer.
PlasmaWafflez 0
#131 You're a stupid ******* **** I hate bitches like you, just because your partner isn't currently with you doesn't give you any rights whatsoever to cheat. **** you, *****.
Nakedsquirrel 5
Actually, I'm a dude, but I put out on the first date, so were I born a girl I'd probably be a *****. Also, I'm reporting you to my local militant man-hating feminist chapter, who will hunt you down and burn CHAUVENIST PIG into your flesh with a cattle iron. Don't you ******* DARE tell women they're ****** for seeking nipple therapy when it's okay for a GUY to do the same! You make me sick! Go to hell!
Amkii 0
I also am wondering why you can't use the other nipple?
CheapoBilo 0
Wait don't women have a PAIR of breasts? I.E. 2 of them? Just use your other funbag to feed your child.
bballboy91 0
That kinda hot if you asked me...
bookworm_x 0
don't you have two breasts? or are you like some breast-cyclopes mutant?
phixx 0
i could help. maybe a massage??
welderchick87 0
I don't think this is true....unless she's like 3 feet tall, or has an incredibly huge chest. I don't know how many times I've leaned over the stove to reach the back and have never come close to burning myself, and I don't have a small chest...
blastvortex 4
Quit trying to immolate yourself. (=p) YDI for not watching yourself better, even though the mistake is one that anybody could make. Also, do you only have like... one nipple or something? Just use the other one (derp!).
Houdeka 0
bballboy91 nobody gives a shit about your perverted sexual attractions. You can go suck a dick if you want but don't be so obvious about it.
ladiesman14 0
im guessing it wasnt a nipply day outside to help ease the pain ?