Today, I was cooking. I leaned over the stove to preheat the oven, and burned my nipple on a pot of boiling water. I also have a teething son who is breastfeeding. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was cooking, and I took a pot of boiling water to the sink to drain. My pot holder slipped, and the boiling water spilled all over my breasts. Second degree boob burns are bad, but losing half a nipple to potato salad is worse. FML
Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML
Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML
Today, I spilt a very hot cup of tea all over a burn I got yesterday from spilling a very hot cup of tea. FML
Today, I had to explain to my husband that while trying to figure out how to make coffee on our stupid new machine, I was in fact nude, so when I finally got it to work and steam came hissing out of the nozzle, I got first degree burn on my nipple. FML
Today, I accepted I can't cook at all. Why? I burned myself cooking popcorn in a microwave oven. I accidentally burst the package open and a scorching kernel flew into my bra. FML
Today, I burned myself while cooking, so I asked my mom to get the burn cream while I waited in the kitchen. While I was waiting, I absentmindedly set my hand on the hot stove, earning myself a second burn. FML
Today, while grabbing a husk of corn out of the boiling hot pot, I splashed hot water on my neck, dropped the corn on my injured toe, and cut myself on the counters, all while my family laughed at my pain. FML
Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML
Today, I made a cup of tea at work. Whilst talking to a workmate, I took a sip of the tea, which I had forgotten was boiling hot, and laughed at the same time, causing it to come out of my nose. I have blistered my whole mouth and even burnt my nostrils. FML
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Top comments
PistachioNut94 0
were you naked?
blacklikemyheart 0
Its a shame people don't have two nipples...
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Comments (284)
PistachioNut94 0
were you naked?
Ligerie 0
are you that shocked that she would be naked in her own house?
livvvy 0
that seems to be the probable situation...
aero_fml 0
I am shocked and in complete disbelief that she would be naked in her own home. Pictures or it didn't happen!
RedRobster 0
@Lingerie: When did he/she say they were shocked? They simply asked the question "Were you naked?" No need to go on and act like a smart ass when your entire reason for being a smart ass never happened.
Ligerie 0
I wasn't being a smart ass I was asking. And I still think they were shocked.
hady9090 0
Use the other nipple?
Kervik 0
"When did he/she say they were shocked?" They did not, that is why she asked. So, in the words of you: "No need to go on and act like a smart ass—"
metakingt 0
Some people have a fire crotch. The Op have a fire nipple.
mannix_fml 0
But those weren't her words. :0
Ohnothingreally 0
I am shocked that she was cooking while being naked. Near boiling water.
SomeonethingStup 0
Surprised a mother caring for her child is walking around her house naked while trying to cook, don't be absurd, don't all mothers do that? Her fault for being naked, and for being stupid enough to put a pot large enough to hit her nipple with boiling water in her path to turn the stove on.
patticake1601 0
why do you all assume she was naked? She could be fully dressed and still her nipple could "dunk" into the hot water. duhhh
your_face 15
Seriously, do you all wear rubber, insulated clothes around the house? Most of us wear clothes that are more comfortable, but also tend to cling to the body when wet. Boiling water on clothes --> burning hot clothes clinging to body --> contact burn.
Ajjas013 6
Great! I like it crispy.
ohmandapants 17
Christ. Way to over-react. (RedRobster)
Vaetrus 0
How would this water fly up into the clothes? I think you are adding extra stuff to it. She just happened to touch her non-BDSM nipple into boiling water or the actual hot metal pot and completely get 2nd degree burns. No one said she dipped the nipple into the water or got wet. Just tender. Or she was naked. Which is also completely normal. @23: You kinda need to empty out the milk or else it could hurt. Pressure and all. That and the baby might like sucking on nipples so it likes getting a completely fill of both.
TenebrificTurtle 0
And babies hurt. They bite. THey are like leeches with protection, too cute to destroy, too powerful to defend against. Motherly instinct is merely their telepathy working on you. I am sorry your nipple hurts... but this is only the beginning, your ears will hurt when he starts talking.
Reyo 2
Were you born with one nipple? Use your other boob. It's not like you 1-2 year old baby is gonna look at you and say "I ordered the right nipple, not the left one!" in some sort of Ricardo Montabon voice before bitch slaping you. Sucks that your milk maker had to get hurt though. Is the little baby ok? Need me to rub it for you? ...kiss it better?
st0815 9
(Why 1-2 years old? Teething starts between 4 and 7 months.) She may very well not have enough milk in one breast to feed the baby, and the milk needs to go out anyway - otherwise it will hurt.
voodootrucker 0
a what
silvermoonstar3 3
The real question is: Why would you lean over the stove to preheat the oven? Did they hide the oven controls on the back of the stove? This would never happen with any of the stove/oven combos I've used, no matter HOW large your chest is.
Mirequetz 6
YDI for cooking naked/with little clothes on and being stupid enough to lean that far in to preheat an oven.
Reyo 2
@155: Fine, I'm sorry for not being an expert on babies. You want I should kill myself for my obvious incompetence in something so painfully obvious to Everyone?
dallizzle 0
1-2 years old? What kind of 2 year old is still breastfeeding?
Zhejan 0
^ Everyone that posted above me actually suffers from mental retardation
man_bear_pig 0
maybe she's a nudist ever think of that
mcsnelly 5
post went to the wrong place...
CeilingofStars 0
...
Caayouteepie 0
hahahahahha
HamsteronA 0
GRAMMER NAZIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
cookiepenguin 0
other nipple perhaps?
PurpleLlamas 0
15 calm the **** down she wasnt meaning to be a smart ass youre being a dumb ass
RiskiBusiness 1
just great. Burnt nipple for dinner.
highfiveee 0
no life...
hanhanjr 0
173- you have to lean over the stove to preheat the oven i own..
THEBlade_fml 1
The kid from grown ups is!
xxkacixxo 2
That's what I was thinking when I read this
Rejacted0727 9
1 the WHO recommends breastfeeding for 2 years minimum for the uneducated people 2. it's not that easy to just nurse off one breast because it'll still get full and need to be emptied 3. yes there are stoves you have to lean over to reach the knobs and 4 water can in fact penetrate clothes so she probably wasn't naked
amazemyself2 0
not sure how you managed that.. but i know that breastfeeding hurts enough without any added injuries... FYL.
birds_fml 7
I think she's just lucky she didn't catch her shirt on fire. If she leaned close enough to burn her nipple (whether she was topless or got her shirt wet in the boiling water) she was close enough for her clothes to catch fire. I'm guessing she didn't have a gas stove. Stoves with the controls in the back are the stupidest thing ever. Why would the designers make it so you have to lean OVER the hot stuff to control it?! I hate stoves like that!
mushoo_fml 0
Don't you have two of those?
kukopia 0
Re: 'Stoves with the controls in the back are the stupidest thing ever. Why would the designers make it so you have to lean OVER the hot stuff to control it?!" Because when they put the controls on the FRONT of the stove, little kids can turn the burners on... Controls on the 'back' are the safest for MOST people. Only short armed people have to 'lean over'.
THEsuperMANLYman 10
Y dont you just use the other nipple
iplaydirty96 9
breastfeeding doesn't hurt at at all. It does for maybe one week while baby is learning proper latch. then you don't even notice the child nursing. Also when they get teeth they don't chew, they still suck, so that isn't an issue.
buddy51 23
ouch!!
famas48 0
Yaaay I'm first But wait a minute, did you say your baby i
fmlfmlfml15 0
Lol, not first but close
sydney184829 0
All posted at same time. Was first when wrote
Kazze 31
Did you die in the middle of writing a comment?
jw90 18
watch where you lean.
i_eat_failure 0
boobs!
blacklikemyheart 0
Its a shame people don't have two nipples...
RedRobster 0
I was just thinking that. haha. If you burned ONE nipple, wouldn't you have another one? Or, did you burn that one of during an earlier incident?
amazemyself2 0
if you have milk in TWO breasts.. you have to get milk OUT of TWO breasts.. if you don't the milk builds up and you can get extremely painful infections.
macgyver16502 0
This is so simple, allow the baby to use the uninjured nipple... And, your husband/fiancee/boyfriend can gently use the other one, just to reduce the pressure of course...
quarty165 0
ichhasstkaterina, you completely missed the point. it's not as simple as feeding the baby through the other breast; she still has to get the milk out of the injured nipple somehow. op, even though it will still hurt like no other, you're probably better off pumping it than just letting the baby at it.
JOURNEYTHEBEAST 0
lol
t52280 2
You could pump the other breast, that doesn't hurt does it?
usnwife 18
Yes, pumping hurts - just not as much as a teething baby...
blackicysheep 8
first
amazemyself2 0
you do realize that saying "first" when you aren't first truly makes you look like an idiot, right?
RedRobster 0
Congratulations, you just replied to wrong comment.
amazemyself2 0
actually on my screen i replied to #10 by blackicysheep.. which only said "first"... if your screen says differently so be it.. but i didnt respond to the "wrong" person. thanks.
snzizle 0
amazemyself2: i highly doubt ur screen happens to display something different than the entire rest of the FML community second: wtf u *****. way to make ur profile picture a pic of ur boobs
alleyes 0
sorry guys, my screen shows amazemyself2 is correct
macgyver16502 0
I also show that she is correct, and breasts are wonderful things that deserve to be displayed. Her profile picture certainly does not offend me...
quarty165 0
yeah mine too. plus that was completely uncalled for, snizle
Laurasian 0
It doesn't offend me either because she's probably a butterface. At least people like her and I can realize it :]
RedRobster 0
Yes, amazemyself, I must apologize. On my screen it was not, so hope you accept my apology :) haha
amazemyself2 0
actually im NOT a "butter face"... i just happen to have awesome boobs too!!
bluegoldfish 7
14, saying first even when you ARE first makes you look like an idiot. saying it when youre 10th is a new low...
shelboo_fml 0
@amazemyself2 Lol you replied to the wrong person. Very nice. (Since I *never* say "first")
Witchcraft_fml 5
You got some hot nipples there. No, wait, just one. Now your son can have a cooked nipple for dinner!