Today, while grabbing a husk of corn out of the boiling hot pot, I splashed hot water on my neck, dropped the corn on my injured toe, and cut myself on the counters, all while my family laughed at my pain. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML
Today, I over-boiled some potatoes. I was having a bad day and this tipped me over the edge. I burst into tears and threw the potatoes all over my kitchen. I then stomped on the piping hot potatoes. The bottoms of my feet are blistered and still feel like they’re burning. FML
Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML
Today, I was reaching for something in the back of the refrigerator. The bottle of hot sauce that was in front of it fell and broke. Not only did the glass cut my feet up, but the hot sauce got in the fresh wounds. FML
Today, I was eating a bag of chips when one of the pieces broke off into a sharp point and when I chewed it, it stabbed into my gums. When I got up to wash the blood out of my mouth, I hit my big toe on my desk corner. FML
Today, I was cleaning a pan. I turned the water on, and it was super hot. My reaction was to slam my hand down. On a knife. So, not only do I have a burned hand, but there's also a huge cut on it from the knife. FML
Today, I was carrying a hot cup of noodles. I sneezed and accidentally stabbed myself in the forehead with a fork. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, the cat climbed up to the spice shelf while I was cooking. As I looked up and told him to leave, he tipped over a chili container which coated my face with chili powder. The bloody pain in my eyes then made me knock over a pot of boiling water. FML
Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML
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Top comments
Metalman69 0
two words. metal tongs.
Arrogance_fml 0
this is a pretty corny fml
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Comments (108)
Metalman69 0
two words. metal tongs.
StoryOfTheYear 15
one letter. metal thongs 0.o
pronounciations 5
jeez
Ali_Br_fml 33
that just sounds stupid. I think I'd laugh @ you too...
PimpdaddyCJT 13
I would laugh -.-
andruha1123 5
haha no one has noticed 6's win?
samantha987 0
wow you are very unfortunate.
mattman1994 0
wow op... that really shucks
JustineBieberHat 0
wow all these fmls about pain and being laughed at arent that bad: a REAL fml is like this old one: today I found out I hated the job I spent 6 years and 15,000,000 preparing for. FML NOW THAT'S AN FML!!!!!
JuliaM1000 10
THAT'S FANILY!!! :D
Sweetest_Cherry 0
The op didnt say anything about using her bare hands. Quit ASSuming
buzz18 7
I would laugh too
TibbysMusic 1
32, yes, yes I have. Op. You're ******* retarded. Just sayin'
XxalagaesiaxX 0
hahahah 6, awesome... and OP, how do you manage to cut yourself on the counter?
Arrogance_fml 0
this is a pretty corny fml
teulito 0
wow
guckylynn 19
38, 15 million dollars? I've been in college five years and haven't even spent close to 100,000 so 15 million is a bit of a reach.
BlueTwist89 0
What 55 said. $15,000,000 = fifteen million dollars
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Yeah right? I guess she got the razor wire option with her counters.
DinoPirate 0
I agree with the big red monkey butt. Actually, I don't really, that just seemed like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to be able to say that.
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Everyone should agree with the Big Red Monkey Butt at least once in their lives. it's very liberating. :)
cOOkiEzRgOOd 22
BIG RED MONKEY BUTT!!!! and #1 is a fail rubber tongs
nyc718 0
I'd hate to see you around oil...
MarkSeattle 0
lol. I guess your family can't afford tongs. at least in Canada the medical coverage is guaranteed, even for idiots...
twinny_sc 13
No 6 loses because it is spelled tongs, not thongs. Thongs are women panties.
Flinlock 0
OP didn't say anything about using their bare hands to grab the corn, and since they didn't say anything about burning their hands they may have used some sort of utensil. Either way, this is my question: What the hell kind of counters do you have that are sharp enough to cut you??
kidwiththehair12 0
38... spending 15 million on ANY job is an FML
rowerforlife 0
ahaa 6 winnn!! but seriously.. you're a loser .
FunnyWeasel 7
hahaha! that's like watching tom and jerry because somebody's getting hurt!
cupcake147 0
sounds like my mom. she always eats corn, she never makes it through a week without breaking something, and she has a broken toe.
kaytwiztid 0
I did! :)
slimshadyd 0
WINNNN
drewberto420 0
Thongs is also what my dad calls his flip flops
unafred 0
lol I'd probably cracked with your family but that really suxs :( lol
jrsl 2
LMFAO OMG FAIL. if i was there i would be laughing with your family. (: im so nice.
austin_joel95 0
lol that sucks
sweetdreams999 0
aw that sucks OP, but revenge is sweet.
LTHoratioCaine 4
Laugh now... (Puts on Ozzy style sunglasses) Pay later WHHHOAAAAAAAAEEEEAAHJHH
rends 0
xD
Ludii_fml 0
haha
TibbysMusic 1
Win!
gummibloo 0
Awe that sux man
sweetdreams999 0
this actually should be categorized as a redneck confession. lol
StoryOfTheYear 15
New story catergory coming soon? :P
sweetdreams999 0
haha that would be interesting for sure.
Ashes628 0
My family laughs at my pain too.I know how that feels.
molil_4810 0
srs thts so mean I luv you op it's ok your boo boo should go soon with a little love which is obviously not ur family dw god will help you!!!!dear god help op get better-r-men
LTHoratioCaine 4
Ummmmmmmm... WHAT?!?!?!?! Boo boo??? i'm sure it's amen... (no Horatio corniness here)