Today, I was at the movies with my mom and dad, and the preview to my "My Sisters Keeper" came on. The trailer started out with "Most babies are accidents..." Right as that line was finished my mom elbowed me and laughed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to see the latest Paranormal Activity movie with my mother. We were terrified and held hands at one point. The person sitting behind us thought it would be hilarious to abruptly scream into my mother's ear. She reacted by flailing and driving her arm straight into my face. FML
Today, during the trailers at the movies, my boyfriend elbowed me in the ribs and smiled when an ad for a weight loss institute was shown. FML
Today, in a big argument, my sister uninvited my mom to her wedding. Trying to comfort my mom, I rented Mamma Mia knowing she's wanted to see it for a while. Turns out, Mamma Mia is a mother/daughter feel-good about the daughters wedding. I had no idea, and my mom cried the whole movie. FML
Today, I went to watch the Movie "UP." At one point in the movie I got really sad and started to cry a bit. The 7 year old girl next to me noticed and told me to shut and man up. FML
Today, I was at the theatre with my 4-year-old son who was situated on my lap. Halfway through the movie, he turns to face me and states loudly, "Mommy, your legs are so furry!". Everyone watching the show turned and stared at us. FML
Today, while babysitting a young girl, I put on the movie Bambi, as she told me it was her favorite movie. I didn't know that her parents always skipped the scene where Bambi's mom dies. Despite my attempts to comfort her, she was still upset when her parents returned. Her mom blamed me. FML
Today, I went to see a movie with my parents. During a sex scene, my dad covered my eyes. I'm married and have 2 kids. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my best friend. While waiting for it to start, I went on to describe this guy I really liked and how badly I wanted to do him. Just then the girl sitting behind us leans down and says "That's my little brother. So you're the creeper he talks about." FML
Today, my mom and I were watching this movie in which some girls start making out. My mother called them "sinners" claiming they'll "burn in hell twice". Then she said, "God doesn't like gays." I'm a lesbian. I picked out this movie as a way of coming out. FML
Today, I went to the movies. Two teenagers behind me had already seen the picture once and shared the entire plot with their friend during first 10 minutes. The finale was intended to be a great twist and I knew it from the very beginning. FML
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Top comments
xOpheliacx 0
So? I was an accident, too. It doesn't mean your parents don't love you or something.
stringoffail 0
I think I was an accident too. Why else would my middle name be "Vasectomy"?
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Comments (182)
Shadic 0
Haha. I know I was an accident, and I'm from Washington State as well. Goofy.
ReallyNeedsRehab 0
Damn thats a bad joke.
haha15 0
haha it's ok! i'm an accident too :S
MrLalo 0
That sounds like a kool down to earth mom being able to joke like that!!! Or was she serious... U don't give enough info on da relationship between u guys!!
muffinsareyummy 1
I ASKED MY MOMMY IF I WAS AN ACCIDENT. SHE SAID I WAS DEFINITELY WANTED. SHE WAS ON BIRTH CONTROL WHEN I WAS CONCEIVED. FML.
Chadling 0
One: I find that line to be the most pretentious and arrogant trash ever. Two: I'd find the FML hilarious. Ok, so I'd pretend that I was horrified, but considering that I was told that I was a "birthday present", and that I later did the math and found out that it was pretty darned close to my Dad's birthday, but.... yeah. Train of thought. Lost. Still funny, though.
gangsterbert 0
She probably kidding you retard
blackredwhite 0
its not that bad.. my youngest sister was an accident baby but we, the elder sisters couldnt be more happier n excited, she is practically the life of the siblings..she brings the joy.. i cant imagine our life without her..
Luckysmurf 0
Lol im sorry but thats hilarious! But dont worry, if u WERE an accident, chances are that ur a good one if ur parents are that open about it
heyyou1203 0
as my parents like to refer to my brother and sister, they were "pleasant surprises." I was the only planned one, and ironically the neglected middle child who no one really cares about. Sometimes "mistake" children are more loved because the parents feel bad. Or sometimes they want kids but just weren't intentionally trying at that moment. No biggie.